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little lion man; leon (scowls) wrote in midgarcity,

Ah, there he was. The bumbling, rambling reporter that Squall remembered from Sector 7. Squall was too embarrassed on the man's behalf to take offense about whether or not Laguna was interested in his opinion anymore. It was like he had no filter. Squall found himself wondering what that would be like. To just say whatever ridiculous thing came to mind, and oh, how the people would judge that. And yet Laguna didn't seem to care. It was almost impressive.

He tuned in again just in time to hear that Laguna was happy to see him. On the one hand, Laguna was fortunate now, because there was a moment of wide-eyed confusion to that statement. It was an honest reaction to cling to, but soon Squall shot that down with a customary frown. "You can't be happy to see me, you don't even know me." Self-doubt crept in again with this realization. Squall was unsure how to feel about Laguna, but the worse thing would be if Laguna rejected him now. The man must have built up so many damn foolish dreams over the past eighteen years about his darling precious boy. That wasn't who Squall was. It couldn't be. He hadn't even been the same boy Ellone had left.

The sudden anxiety compelled him to take a step to the side. He couldn't stand here in this conversation anymore. There was too much judgment, too much responsibility, and Squall couldn't carry on a conversation over his own thoughts. Is that how family works? It can't be. I've never seen. You can't just suddenly be somebody's father, son, brother. Those things, those words, should mean something. This doesn't mean anything. It couldn't-- "Whatever."