So...

Hel and I are expecting.

I don’t mean to be rude or anything but I didn't plan on starting this week by joining a new cult. I’m sure you’re all very nice people but the email tag is super sketchy and invasive. Especially with what's been going on in the news lately. This stuff is totally the last thing California needs.

Only-

This is all very odd.

How do you even deal with this anyway? I mean If one of you says “I’m Athena Goddess of War” or whatever and the next person says, “Oy, I’m Irish and my brother is the God of War so put that in your pipe and smoke it!” who even wins? How can two people, deities, be of the same thing without causing a time ripple whenever they go near each other? Or do you cause a time ripple? Is that why you have to go all google on each other instead of talking in your face places?

Sorry. I guess it’s none of my business. You all seem like very interesting people. Uh. When I'm famous this will be a really good story to tell Conan.

Enjoy?

YouTube video, taken somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico:

"...hey, did you see that? Is that a shark or something? What is--"

...Coast Guard is calling off the search for three boaters who have been missing since...

California State Police are asking for the public's help in searching for this hiker, who was last seen on January 27th heading towards...

"...what is your emergen--"
"It's huge! This thing is [expletive] huge!"
"Sir, calm down--"
"This [garbled]! It's [garbled] my car! Oh God, help!"
"What is your location, sir?"
[garbled unidentifiable noises]
"Sir?"

...saw this in the sky near Nickel Creek; apologies for the condition of...
...ya this looks shopped, i can tell by the pixels and from...
...yeah well your mom's shopped, lolol...
...no this is legit, I saw it too near Yurok and...

...state wildlife officials have declined to comment on exactly what type of creature... unconfirmed reports that the wounds on the victims' bodies do not match those made by a bear or mountain lion... visitors to the park are urged to take cautions and avoid...

"...this giant creature in the Gulf of Mexico is quite clearly the product of unrestrained climate change, and--"
"Oh, that's such bull[censored]! You know who it is? It's those gods that came back-- everything's gone wrong since they showed up, and I'll bet you anything that they're behind this too!"
"Now, come on, there's no proof of that!"
"Oh yeah?! Look at the history books sometime; look at that Triton guy! Calling up all kinds of sea monsters-- this is just a page out of his playbook, and you're just too scared to admit it!"
"But what's the point? Why would he want..."

I must say, godlings. You're getting entirely too complacent. Too comfortable. Even altering your powers has done little.

I think I know what you're missing. What you've been craving. A good antagonist! An excuse to fight and shed and spill blood. Need I find your oldest enemies again? Consider it done. Give them a few days before they choose to show themselves properly, but I'm sure you'll know what to do.



((Corruption will not reply further, but feel free to do some IC plotting!))

[Now that the excitement's died down, Puck has some quick business to tie up...]

In all the hubbub, I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier. I received your latest package, and it is a most fine Yuletide gift! I could not be more pleased, dear friend.

So, do Gaia's team building exercises usually leave you feeling out of sorts? I'm having to ask, because this is the first time things aren't working the way they normally should.

I will make this brief. I do not know whom you people believe you are, but know this: I have influential friends, substantial resources, and a vindictive streak a mile wide. I will find you and will find a way to make you suffer for this bothersome inconvenience if you do not cease immediately. Consider this your only warning.

So I realized Halloween is in, like, a week. Anyone have any fun costume ideas? I'm thinking of going as a cation, with cat ears and a black shirt with a big white plus sign on it. I guess most people won't get it, but I sort of like the idea anyway.

What's everyone else thinking of dressing up as?

Okay, the first hour of this was cute, but really do you know how hard it is to tell your commanding officer you were late to a drill because you had to answer an email? Thanks for the K.P. Duty. What is this anyway, some kind of joke?

Hey guys, I'm pretty sure I'm ready to run initial beta tests on the combat simulator. Anyone up for being my guinea pigs?

Hey. The email wouldn’t go away, so I logged into the network. I get it. I get what you’re trying to do and I already remember, but I don’t really do fan clubs, so you can stop now.

How do I go about unsubscribing from this little family?

Tell me... is it uncommon to have mental disturbances with one's dreams around here? Something is decidedly amiss, and I'm not certain I quite understand the purpose behind them. Does anyone have experience with matters of this nature in relation to this place?

You heard it here first! I'm proud to announce that Lilith and I are now the official new parents to a beautiful baby girl! We've decided to name her Eireann Michelle.

Mom and baby are both doing just fine, and she's got two very proud and protective big brothers and a delighted big sister. And, yeah, Mom and Dad are pretty thrilled too.

Hey, y'all, they finally got the fucking sanctions lifted and the contracts renegotiated, and I'm in the ring again!

Who all wants tickets? Front row, whoever wants 'em.

Working in a funeral home can be unnerving enough for some people. More so as things start printing of their own accord...

What's this all about, then?

[ text messages for Hanuman]

- Hey!

- Whatsup?

- You home?

When Puck arrives back in Chicago, there is a rather large cardboard box waiting for him. While it is labeled clearly, every other inch of the box is decorated with bright swirls and graffiti - including cartoon monkeys. Inside the box is a short note written in a quick hand... "This is the first box like promised! Total freebie gift. Welcome to our world! I hope you like it and, if you ever visit the Bay Area, look me up." - Hanuman/Javi.

The list of goodies within is quite impressive - Twinkies, crystallized ginger, four different types of candy bars, Reese's peanut butter cups, pink snowballs (where on earth did he find those?), dried banana chips and slices of mango and Mallomars.

Puck is going to be happy. Mab? Probably not so much.

Well, if you wanted to get my attention, you sure picked an annoying interesting way of doing it. Can the emails stop now? My poor inbox thanks you.

No love,
Ric.

So, that little stunt that put us in FaeLand just cost me the job I've had for seven years.

I'm going to eat the carton of ice cream in my freezer, sleep, then look for a job in the morning. Or whenever I decide to get up. So much for moving up in the world.

Just a general FYI:

I'm going to be moving to New Orleans in a couple of weeks. Anybody in Cali up for a going away dinner?