Re: I don't have time to get all worked up about this :o)
I've read angsty slash where the two men involved either were already married, or required to get married for some reason. And there's plenty of "one-time sexual encounter" slash that isn't based on "true love forever," and while those are usually one-shots, they may contain the notion that the guys will eventually get married to women. (Nobody thinks Sam & Dean are gonna get married, right?) Plenty of "trapped in a [cave/alien spaceship/prison cell] and overwhelmed by lust" fic.
I somehow doubt she thinks het fic with the same premise is equally oppressive, though. If a man & woman are shipwrecked together, and wind up having sex for comfort, and they each go back to their same-sex partner on the mainland after rescue, are they "gender traitors?"
I'm boggled by the idea that pre-internet non-slash fanfic was "mostly written by men," though. What fanzines is she talking about?