I always appreciate your reviews, because you strike me as being fearlessly honest. First, thanks for taking the considerable amount of time I know was required to read it.
I've considered that passage that threw you off--I think it's a preferential thing--it was meant to be sort of 'tongue-in-cheek' slapstick, and I formatted it the way I did to underline Harry's frustration with how the three of them obviously had a checklist and timetable for his life, and his undisguised disgust that they did.
Glad it worked for you in the end. It was the first time I wrote Harry/Draco--I figured I'd get cries of 'foul!' from both camps (and I did), but life is often not easily divided into neat little compartments, so far as the heart is concerned.
Thanks for reccing, and also for your thoughtful comments--I'm grateful.