Grrr! Gorramn comment rot! This is the third time typing this out, but I'm gonna anyhow. This had me laughing all the way through it, and given that I was trying to stifle my hilarity from my Sister in Law's notice, I have to say you exacted an equal revenge for the Nillanosis bit.
Still, despite the looming horror of the characterisations (as illustrated by your foreward/author's notes,) and the squickiness of the squick, you did an awesome job! Thanks for stretching to it on my account!