Had to stop reading and open a comment thread for this! It seemed like the best of Charlie's knowledge was kind of crap. LOL How perfect is that?
You'll get really cool sunglasses and a partner with a stick up his arse, plus many other perks if you agree, such as adventure, your life constantly in danger, erratic working hours, and protecting the earth from alien attack." *wipes tears from eyes* I think I love you. This is just the thing I needed this morning.
Wonderful story! Sharp and witty. Just so much fun. Thank you very much for sharing it.