Matt (heyitsmatt) wrote in mcdermott_game, @ 2011-05-09 19:58:00 |
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Current mood: | content |
Entry tags: | ella, ella/matt, matt |
Who: Ella and Matt
What: Coming to an understanding :)
When: Sunday, May 1
Where: On the quad
Rating: PG
Status: Complete
Ever since their trip to Vegas, Ella had been on Matt’s mind more than he cared to admit. He didn’t want to be thinking about her all the time - not because she wasn’t a pleasant topic to think about, but because he felt horribly guilty every time he did. It wasn’t lost on him that he and Olivia didn’t break up by choice, and that if things were different they’d still be together. The more he thought about it, though, the more that didn’t make sense - Ella was here and Olivia wasn’t. If he had a panic attack, Olivia wouldn’t be able to do anything about it for him. She wouldn’t be able to hug him or hold him or anything like that. Matt hadn’t heard anything about her coming back anytime soon, either.
This week Matt had finally had the courage to tell Tamara about his dilemma. He knew it was probably something he shouldn’t have shared with her, but he didn’t know who else to tell. Chris was always good at things like that, but he knew the guy was busy, and Matt wasn’t even sure if he’d known Ella at their shared time at McDermott. All Tamara had said, though, was that if Ella was going to be someone who supported him, then he should keep her around. She did have a mysterious, almost amused smile on her face when she said this, though, which only frustrated Matt further.
Regardless of how mixed up his feelings were, he did want to do something special for her since he knew her birthday was coming up. He’d asked her to meet him on the quad that day so they could hang out and enjoy the weather. He briefly contemplated a picnic, but he didn’t want it to come off as romantic. (Maybe part of him did, but he didn’t want to send any mixed signals or anything.) However, by the time they were supposed to meet, the weather was nice enough that he didn’t have to worry about that. He leaned against the tree he had chosen, looking around and waiting for Ella to meet him.
Ella was excited when Matt had asked to spend her birthday with him. She hadn’t really expected it but it was a wonderful surprise. It took her a bit to decide what to wear but once she’d settled on something she headed for the quad where he’d said he’d be waiting. Trying to control her nerves, Ella headed over to him and sat down next to him. “Hey,” she said. “How are you?”
“I’m okay,” he admitted, giving Ella a smile. He was a bit nervous, too, now that he thought about it. Why? It was just Ella. “I could be studying for finals, but...” He shrugged. “This is funner. Happy birthday,” he added. “How are you?”
She smiled, happy that he had remembered. “Thank you! It’s hard to believe that I’m 19 today. Time flies, doesn’t it? I’ve been here almost a year.” It had been quite a year too. Ella felt that she’d grown a lot since she’d come to McDermott. In a lot of ways, she wasn’t the girl that she’d been when she’d arrived last June for summer session. She was less shy, she’d made friends and most importantly she’d made peace with who she was and how that affected her music.
“Yeah,” Matt said, wistfully, looking around the campus. “That’s how I felt after my first year here. I felt like I was almost a different person. That was a year ago and I feel even more different now than I did then. Weird, right?” He shrugged. “But hey, at least you’re the same age as me now.” He grinned at her, and then continued, “So I don’t know what you want to do, but I figured it’d be nice to sit and enjoy the weather while we had the time, at least for a few hours. Finals are coming up so I wouldn’t want you to fail those.”
Ella shook her head. “No, I don’t want to do that. My parents would be very unhappy with me if I did!” She leaned her head back against the tree trunk and looked out at the people passing by. “So what are you doing this summer? Will you be coming back or not? I kind of wanted to but the folks said no. Looks like I’m spending the summer in Nashville.”
“You should. Summer’s a nice time in Westmont.” Matt leaned back as well. “Honestly, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I kind of want to take a break, actually. I only did one summer session last year and that worked out well. I do want to spend more time with my family, though. Especially my new stepsister and stepbrother. Or cousins? I don’t know, it’s complicated.” He shrugged. “So we’ll see. If I’m here, though, I’ll miss you.” He glanced over at her. “Maybe we can do vacation at the Outer Banks again,” he suggested, grinning.
“That would be awesome,” she said, remembering their time last summer and how much fun they’d had. “but I’m not sure what Mom and Dad are doing. Dad was talking about filming a movie and I think Mom is going to be in the studio. Not sure yet. I hope we go to the Outer Banks though. I love it there. It’s beautiful.”
“Sounds like your summer is going to be lonely,” Matt said, sympathetically. “All the more reason you should come out. You could even come without them and we can meet you there and you can come hang out with my family. I mean, my aunt feels like we pretty much owe you after you took me to Vegas.” He grinned. “Though I can’t promise she won’t be fangirly all the time. She’ll try her best, I’m sure, but...” He shrugged, smiling fondly at the thought of his aunt.
“By the way...” Matt shifted, suddenly feeling nervous again. He didn’t want to pass up not giving Ella the present he’d bought her, but he didn’t want it to be a big deal or anything like that. He decided to act without thinking about it too much, so it’d be over with before he worked himself into a panic about it. “I have a present for you,” he declared, his smile softening as he handed the wrapped box to her. “I hope you like it. I knew it was you the moment I saw it.”
“I might have to do that,” she said. “It sounds like fun. I’ll definitely think about it and get in touch with you.” The prospect of spending some time with Matt made her happy and Ella couldn’t help but smile as she thought about it. When he handed her the package, she was surprised. She hadn’t expected a gift from her. “You didn’t have to do that,” she protested as she unwrapped the box and when she saw what was inside, her eyes widened. “Oh, Matt....It’s beautiful!” She threw her arms around him and gave him a hug. The necklace was perfect for her and she knew that she would wear it all the time.
“Put it on me,” she said, turning to the side and pulling her hair out of the way so that he could see what he was doing. “I love it so much!”
At Ella’s enthusiastic reaction, Matt grinned, returning her hug and giving her an extra squeeze. “I’m glad you like it,” he said, as he lifted it from the box and unclasped it. He paused for a moment as he prepared to put it around her neck; it occurred to him that this should probably make him nervous, and it did, to an extent, but he wasn’t panicking about it. That was an interesting feeling. He noted that silently as he placed it on her neck gently and then reclasped it, the feeling of her skin slightly brushing underneath his fingertips sending a feeling coursing through him that he couldn’t quite place. “There,” he said, finally, leaning back. “It looks good on you,” he said, nodding and smiling.
Ella wasn’t sure what to do next. She wanted to find another way to thank him but was afraid to touch him. What if he didn’t want her to? Instead, she looked down at the pendant and then back at him, finally deciding to reach out give his hand a squeeze. “I love it and you’re right, it looks like me.” Her eyes held his for a moment and she could feel her heart rate picking up. This was Matt, her friend and even though she knew she wanted more from him, dare she hope for that?
Matt squeezed Ella’s hand back on instinct, but when she held his gaze, he thought he saw something in them that he recognized. It was strange, but not in a bad way. He’d just never recognized it Ella before, and now that he had, it took him a minute to realize that he didn’t mind it. He didn’t want to disappoint her, but everything was still mixed up in his head. One thing he did know, though, was that he wanted Ella to keep looking at him like that, and not just because he hadn’t had someone look at him like that in a long time, but because it was Ella.
After a long moment, he looked back down at her hands and slowly intertwined them. “I need you to know something,” he said, sighing. “I’m confused about a lot of things right now, but... if you’re willing to stick by me, maybe...” He cleared his throat and then looked back at Ella, not quite sure he knew how to say what he was thinking.
Her heart skipped a beat as he said the word ‘maybe.’ Ella was pretty sure that she knew what he meant, at least she hoped she did. “I know you are,” she began, glancing down at their intertwined hands. “and I’ve never really..well this is new for me. You know that things with Logan were well, I don’t know what they were but if you’re asking me if I think we maybe...well maybe..can...you know...I’d say yes. I’m not going anywhere Matt.”
Regardless of how mixed up he was, he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. Even though they couldn’t articulate it to each other, Matt knew Ella understood, and that was part of the reason why he wanted this, actually. Maybe not something substantial or definitive yet, but it was a start.
“I just don’t want to lead you on or hurt you,” he said, finally. “I like when we’re together, though, and that no matter what you’ve seen me through.” He shrugged, sheepishly, and then took a moment to reach out and gently tuck a loose curl behind her ear.
It was a sweet gesture, one that made Ella’s heart turn over in her chest. “I know you don't,” she said. “I don’t want to hurt you either and I promise I’ll do my best to be there for you no matter what happens.” She smiled at him, happy to know that he felt the same way that she did. Even if they weren’t entirely sure as of yet what it all meant, it was a start.
Matt returned her smile. He hadn’t realized how much he had wanted this until he’d heard Ella reassure him that she’d be there. It was all a strange and new feeling, but he liked that they could be comfortable with each other and that there was something more ahead of them once they got there. “I guess you’re having a good birthday so far, then, huh?” he said, lightly.’
“I am,” she said. “thanks to you.” She smiled back at him, happy that they’d come to an understanding. It was a beginning, something to look forward to and while it might take them a while to get there, Ella had no doubts that it would be worth the wait.