« sunday. (openonsunday) wrote in mcdermott_game, @ 2010-01-25 16:16:00 |
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Current mood: | surprised |
Entry tags: | shae, shae/sunday, sunday |
Who: Shae and Sunday
What: Coming to a co-existence
When: Friday, January 22
Where: Harper Cove
Rating: PG-13 - Sunday has some language problems
Status: Complete
When she had gone home for Christmas, Sunday's mother and sister had remarked that maybe she should look into better eating habits. Sunday had taken that to mean that she was getting fat, and so she was eating crappy food more out of spite than out of necessity.
Or something. At any rate, she was craving pizza - however rubbery and crappy the Cove made it, it was still pizza, and so she was headed out to see if they still had some. She supposed she could have heated up some of that frozen stuff that was stashed in her freezer, but there was just something about overwarmed, melty, rubbery cheese that, for some reason, appealed to her.
Harper Cove was crowded when Sunday entered - probably because of the cold weather and how well junk food went with that - and it was hard to maneuver between everyone socializing that had come back for the spring. She spotted the pizza from across the room; it was like a spotlight had been cast and there were some choirs singing ethereal notes in the back of her mind. Sunday shook her head and laughed at the thought.
When she finally made it there, though, there were only a few pieces left, and she hoped that there'd be some left for her. She had managed to grab the last piece (score!) and had gleefully began to make her way to find a piece when she heard a loud, disappointed sigh behind her. She turned, and was about to say 'Tough luck, cookie,' but then saw who it was and felt kind of guilty. It was kind of messed up to deprive pregnant women of food.
Cheese. She was still craving cheese and there was nothing that appealed to her more than the rubber cheese on the pizza in Harper's Cove. Why that was Shae had no clue but she couldn't help it so after her class was done on Monday, she made her way there and got in line. She was reading a text message from Mitch and hadn't noticed the person in front of her so when she looked up and saw the last slice of pizza slide away from her, Shae let out a sigh of disappointment. Then the girl turned around and she felt her heart rate speed up. It was Sunday whom she hadn't seen since that day in the bookstore.
"Hello," she said quietly when their eyes met. Shae was determined not to be the first to look away. "How are you?" It was a stupid thing to say but she didn't know what else to do. She wasn't about to let Sunday know that she coveted her pizza. Not when she could just as easily wait for them to put more out.
Sunday, to say the least, was a bit shocked by Shae-Lynne (she'd remembered the woman's name after the last time she saw her at the bookstore) talking to her as if everything was normal. The old feelings of anger and disbelief began to rise in her, but a new feeling accompanied them this time - guilt... and not only because she'd pretty much stolen pizza from a pregnant woman. She sighed, giving herself time to not lash out at her like the last time, and shrugged. "As good as I could be, I guess." She bit her lip and then, after making sure it was the right thing for her to do, offered her plate to the other woman. "I really want pizza, but I think you want this even more than I do, so I can give it up and chill here until they get more out here," she offered, a bit self-consciously. It was the least she could do after practically tearing down the lady at their last meeting.
If she'd handed her a hundred dollar bill, Shae wouldn't have been more shocked. She understood why the girl disliked her and couldn't blame her in the least but this gesture was sweet and she certainly didn't expect it. "Thank you," she said and shook her head "but I couldn't possibly. I don't mind waiting. You go ahead." It was only pizza after all and Shae could wait. "I'm glad things are going well for you. Is this your last semester?" She knew that it was although she didn't want to admit to Sunday that she had looked her up in the student directory after their previous encounter. Perhaps she shouldn't have done it but she was curious about the girl so she had.
"It is," Sunday replied briefly, really wanting to take a bite out of her pizza - she wasn't going to fight the woman if she didn't want it - but forcing herself not to. "It's kind of surreal, actually." This was surreal in a lot of ways - not only was she being truthful about her semester, because she had no idea what the hell she wanted to do once she was out - but because she was standing here, having a civil conversation with this woman. But having seen the man who wanted to call himself her father made Sunday realize that maybe she'd been a little too hard on this woman.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Sunday asked, point blank, once the realization had come to her. "I mean, after I was such a bitch to you the last time I saw you." She exhaled slowly, her mind telling her an apology would be a nice follow up to this statement, but unable to bring herself to say the words.
Shae decided to be honest and when Sunday asked her question, she shrugged before replying. "Honestly, I don't know. I guess it's because I have no reason not to be. I didn't like what you said to me the last time we met but I can't blame you for feeling that way." The things Sunday had said hurt, no question there, but a part of her understood why she'd said them. It was understandable that the girl would be bitter over what her father had done, Shae would have felt the same way had it been her own father.
"Another reason? I'm not naive enough to ever think we can be friends but we do have to co-exist on this campus and I don't like bad blood." Once again she was being completely honest. "Life is too short. At least that's the way I look at it."
Well, damn. She was halfway decent after all, which made Sunday angry all over again - because she'd been taken advantage of, lied to and left high and dry as well. "Well, it's not like you'll be dealing with me for much longer," Sunday told her, the words laced with cynicism. After a pause, she glanced over at Shae and sighed. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this, but in some weird, twisted way, I think you're the only person for miles around who understands." Sunday drew in a breath and said, "I saw him, when I was in the city last month. New York, I mean. I was so fucking angry. I didn't want to know where he was, didn't want him to know where I was, and he just... popped up." Sunday glared hard at the heat lamp that was currently heating nothing.
The thing was that Shae did understand on some level. Sunday had erased her father from her life and to suddenly see him again? That had to be hard. She knew that she would feel the same way if she was suddenly confronted with him again. She hadn't even known where he had been all that time. "I'm sorry," she said simply. "I know that must have been very hard for you." Her heart went out to the girl even though she knew it was probably the last thing Sunday would want. Shae knew her relationship with Kyle had been a huge mistake and knowing that innocent people had been hurt only made her feel worse.
Sunday exhaled loudly, but not because she was necessarily annoyed with Shae; whenever she thought about her father, it made her angry and upset. She didn't want to necessarily comment on how she thought maybe he was screwing another Broadway star, because even though it was her theory, it wouldn't make her feel better, not really. "You know, that day at the bookstore? That was kind of out of line for me," Sunday admitted. She wasn't going to necessarily like this woman, this teacher that so many other people adored, but Sunday did know when she had to man up and take some accountability for herself. "I mean, granted, there were some things that needed to be said, but not out of the blue in a bookstore." Exhaling again, she finally said, "I'm sorry for that. That wasn't cool." Especially now that she was taking the time to talk to Sunday and listening to her plight - Shae-Lynne didn't need to do that and if their roles were reversed, Sunday probably wouldn't either.
She was apologizing? That was another thing that Shae hadn't expected. Unsure of what to say, she simply nodded. Then she decided that she should say something. "I understand," she said. "you weren't exactly prepared to see me and there I was. "and I know you needed to say those things. I get that. I deserved some of them...not all mind you...but some. I do want you to understand though that I was being honest with you. I didn't know. I truly didn't and I am sorry for what you had to go through. All of you."
Sunday had figured she was telling the truth. It wasn't that she didn't believe her. It was just that... how could she not know? It still boggled Sunday's mind. Had she not asked about Kyle's background, his family, not wondered why he'd never brought her home to meet his parents? Sunday would have. It diminished her respect for Shae in that regard. But it also made Sunday extremely angry that Kyle could just deny that they even existed, and that was what had driven her to her angry outburst in the bookstore.
She didn't want to revisit those feelings, so instead, she nodded curtly. Shae had already apologized numerous times and she didn't really want to hear it anymore, because the fact was that no matter how many times she said so, it didn't help the fact at all; if it wasn't Shae, it would have been someone else. "No offense, but you've already said that to me a bunch of times," Sunday pointed out, trying to stay calm. "I mean, the sentiment's great and all that, I guess, but it doesn't really make anything better." She shrugged; that was the truth. "But seriously? I guess... I have a lot of issues with him, as you can probably imagine, and you were there and he wasn't and I'm mostly angry at him and just... yeah," she explained. "Really, though, I can hold up a mature conversation if I try hard enough."
Shae nodded. She could tell Sunday the whole story. Tell her how Kyle had told her that he was divorced and never mentioned that he had any children, about how he said he didn't have a relationship with his parents but something told her that would only hurt Sunday that much more. She knew that it would have hurt her. Sunday had enough issues with her father without Shae making it any worse.
"I know you do and I don't blame you for being angry, I don't." She shook her head and nodded toward the warming light. "There's more pizza now." It was a way to change the subject and she wasn't sure what else to say. What was there to say, really? If she and Sunday could simply learn to tolerate each other, Shae would consider it a victory.
It was hard to be mean about it when Shae was being nice about it, you know? If Shae fought back, if she had yelled and raged like Sunday had, it would be easier to go on hating her. But Sunday hadn't forgotten what Shae had said to her that day at the bookstore, that Shae was a victim too, that he'd lied to her and led her on as well. In a weird way, they were almost in the same place, and it was hard to hate anyone who could understand what you were going through, especially if that person was the only person around that could.
At her comment, Sunday turned towards the pizza, which had indeed appeared while Sunday had been exercising her thoughts a little too hard. "Oh," she said, simply. "I guess you can have yours, then." Sunday looked towards her own slice, which had been somewhat forgotten and was beginning to get cold. She hated that - it either had to be melty, or just out of the refrigerator cold. Maybe that was her cue to leave, so she could eat it before it cooled down, or zap it in the privacy of her dorm room. She offered a half-shrug to Shae, not really knowing what else to say.
"Hey, let me get that," she said, not sure why she was offering but feeling as if she should. "just get rid of that one and I'll get us both a fresh slice. It's no good when it's cold." Shae reached for two slices. "Come on," she said when the girl hesitated. "I promise I won't put rat poison on it or something. I'm not that evil." Her words were light and she smiled at Sunday.
Tolerating this woman was one thing. Making friends with her? That was another story all together, and Sunday wasn't sure she could handle all of that in one day. However, she could easily play along with banter and she rolled her eyes, though she couldn't help a smile. "Mmhmm. Sure," she replied, but she followed anyway. "Thanks for helping a starving student," she told Shae, because Sunday was always nice when it came to free food. But there was more behind it that Sunday couldn't verbalize, a gratefulness that this woman was understanding of Sunday's issues, that she knew how Sunday felt and could empathize, almost.
Shae paid for their pizza and put another paper plate over hers. She needed to get back to her office and her being nice didn't extend to inviting Sunday to join her. "You're welcome," she said as she stuffed some napkins in her coat pocket. "I have to get back to my office but it was..." what? Good to see her? Not really but what could she say. "I'm glad we ran into each other. I guess I'll see you around."
Sunday couldn't say she exactly shared that sentiment, but she wasn't going to be snarky, not when this woman whom she had yelled at had bought her free pizza. So instead, she smiled politely and nodded. "Enjoy the pizza," she said, half-teasing, before she began to walk away. It was a small campus and most likely she would see the other woman around, though it was almost a relief for Sunday not to feel like she needed to yell at her. She wouldn't go out of her way to run into her, but there was... something there, like an understanding - closure, almost - and that was good enough for Sunday.