juliet (jcostello) wrote in mcdermott_game, @ 2010-01-18 23:10:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | chloe, chloe/juliet, juliet |
Who: Juliet and Chloe
What: Some banter, some fun times. Juliet lets it all out about her issues with Josh and the future and Chloe offers some much needed perspective.
When: Monday, January 18th, 2009.
Where: Outside of class, and then The Cove.
Rating: Pretty PG. Maybe PG-13, maybe.
The History of Musical Theatre really was a dream come true for Juliet. It was everything she loved and wanted to learn about and things she would GLADLY give up time to learn because it was just so interesting ... and she was getting credit for it! It was so amazing it hardly even seemed fair. Not that she was complaining. God no. With all the stress about Thisbe and Josh and just her general day-to-day insane agenda, this class was pretty much the best thing she had going for her right now. She was sure if she analyzed that enough that'd be incredibly pathetic, so she didn't.
She had spent her night glued in front of the Golden Globes. Juliet generally never sat down to watch TV, too useless, too time consuming ... unless it was the Emmy's, the Oscar's, the Golden Globes or (her favorite), the Tony's. She had never been able to pass up the chance to indulge herself with the idea that maybe someday she'd be on one of those red carpets. Hopefully, one day, all of them. One of the highlights of the Globes for her had been seeing Chloe. It was still strange to her, that this person she considered her friend was this big important actress. Her movie hadn't won, but the girl had still looked absolutely gorgeous and Professor Fletcher suited her perfectly.
Ever the diligent student, she spent class taking notes and paying attention and etc., etc. Class, even a class that came as naturally as breathing to her, was serious business. But after class, she snagged the opportunity to talk to a somewhat, uh, tired looking Chloe. "Chloe? Chloe James? It couldn't be you. You were on TV last night," Juliet teased, coming up beside the girl as they walked out the door. "Looking stunning, might I add."
Chloe had been seriously rethinking the whole needing to be responsible and back in time for class idea, from the moment she'd stepped off the plane that morning. The night before had been amazing. She'd always enjoyed awards shows but something about sharing it with Tim had made it all the more so. Even the rain hadn't dampened her evening. They hadn't slept though and she'd drank so much that by the time they'd gotten on the lane ...well it was possible that she had still been a little tipsy at that moment. The plane had taken care of that though, she'd crashed out for a few hours on Tim’s shoulder...and had woken with a raging hangover. Yes, she was rethinking the need to be in class. Shae was teaching it, she would have understood.
Chloe had managed to make it through though and she was contemplating heading back to Tim's to crash out for awhile when she heard Juliet's teasing, despite the fact that she was feeling loopy she was so tired, the aspirin she'd taken earlier had kicked in enough to stem her headache and She was able to genuinely smile at her friend.
"it's me, totally unbelievable, right?" She joked lightly. "And thanks, I was pretty in love with that dress to be honest."
"And it was totally in love with you," Juliet said with a nod, checking her Blackberry for messages out of compulsion (just a few emails, nothing earth-shatteringly urgent). Flattery came easily. "Do I want to know how much it was? No, no I don't. It's just going to make me jealous. Anyway, congratulations on the nomination! Your movie should have won."
"It will make you jealous." Chloe agreed as she pulled out her iphone to check her own messages. She had a few from Julie and Nadine, no doubt about the press from the night before but she didn't think they were important right then. The news of what the promise ring she wore from Tim signified was the only big thing and everyone expected that. "IT shouldn't have." Chloe waved off that compliment
"It wasn't even close to what the other were but thanks for saying it."
Well, at least she was honest. Which was just so much more than Juliet could say for herself. She was an incessant people-pleaser, which often came at the price of stretching the truth. "You're welcome. It looks like you and Tim were having fun. He even held your umbrella." She cracked a grin. "You guys are ludicrously cute, you realize?"
"I teased him the entire way up the red carpet." Chloe admitted with an outright grin at the memory. "for being my umbrella holder. I mean come on." She giggled as she spoke. "He said he was being a gentleman and if Justin long could do it for Drew Barrymore he could do it for me." She shrugged at the compliment. "Thanks for that... Is it wrong to admit that I kind of DO realize that?"
Juliet had to laugh at that. "That or he just didn't want to be upstaged by Justin Long. Nah, he's sweet. And for that he must pay the price of being known as your umbrella holder for the next year." She swung her purse around to the other side of her, shaking her head. "It's better than the alternative. So, no! Not wrong at all."
"If being my umbrella holder is what got him through a red carpet laughing?" Chloe shrugged. 'Than I think we're both fine with him being known as that...as speaking of ridiculously cute, aren't you in the middle of some love story of your own these days?"
Juliet was trying not to think about her own 'love story' but she smiled anyway, the smile so practiced it was indistinguishable from a genuine one. "Something like that," she said lightly.
"Only something like that?" Chloe asked with a slightly curious note to her voice. It seemed to her that Juliet should have been at that stage where it was all she talked about. "Shouldn't you be overwhelmed with the infatuation right now?...then again it's your second time around right? so maybe not."
"Oh, we had the infatuation stage," Juliet assured Chloe. "Second time or not." There had been an abundance of make up sex. Really. She'd been glowing for weeks. "We've now gracefully eased into the next stage. In which we actually have to think about serious things." She rolled her eyes, still trying to pass it off as No Big Deal. "Fun, fun, fun, right?" Cue a small laugh.
"Not really." Chloe caught the end of the laugh and tossed a light one back at Juliet to lighten her words. "Serious things are never that fun. However if you can talk about it...I suppose it means it's more than just lust and infatuation...which is always good to know."
Except that they couldn't talk about it. Their argument was so circular that it never got anywhere, and one of them always threw in the towel because it was just easier. Juliet was a head-on, confront your problems type of person ... in every single respect but relationships. She had never quite figured that out. But it seemed much too humiliating, spilling her problems to Chloe who had her perfect boyfriend and her acting career and her million friends ... However, at the same time, it was getting harder and harder to pretend like she wasn't completely cracking. "I don't know," she finally said. "I think I much preferred the infatuation."
Chloe was a little startled at that comment and the connotations that it could contain. She paused, her surprise showing for a moment as she looked at Juliet. Her head was still aching, the dull kind that you knew wouldn't go away anytime soon but she could ignore that and it seemed right then that maybe it was time for a chat with Juliet. "I think everyone prefers the infatuation." She admitted. "Want to get coffee?"
Oh, I'd love to, but I told my father I'd meet him after class. Rain check, maybe? ... Sounds great, Chloe! But can it wait til tomorrow? I have to go find Thisbe. ... Oh, thanks but the male half of my 'love story' is expecting me. Soon though, okay? It wasn't a new thing, how easily she could think of excuses (or in this case, flat out lies) to extricate herself from the situation. She didn't like to go around lying all the time or anything, or even every really ... but she took great precautions to make sure her walls never fell. And she knew if Chloe asked the right question, or even started heading in that direction anymore, she'd completely crack. She nodded anyway. "Yes, please. The Cove?"
"The cove is good." Chloe held up her empty stainless steel travel mug for emphasis. 'I am empty and hungover and it's a drive to get back to Tim's where the good coffee lays." Yes, she'd taken her own coffee stash to Tim’s when she'd decided to stay with him for that session. "So the Cove is perfect."
Thisbe wasn't working today, thank God. Because that wouldn't be too awkward or anything. Still, she glanced at the til apprehensively when her and Chloe got there. Nope. No Bee. .... It was just so, so ridiculous that she was even thinking this. Yeah, they were still on awkward terms for their fight but she was actually worried if her sister was working or not? Her life really was a mess right now, and that was something Juliet never let herself think. After ordering, she stood aside so Chloe could do the same and then headed toward a corner booth with her double cappuccino. "This spot fine?"
Chloe was far too busy taking a sip of the caramel macchiato she'd ordered to answer. Normally she just went for black coffee, the stronger the better but hangovers required sugar to go away (or at least in Chloe's head they did) So she'd gone for the sweetest drink she could get.
She nodded though and slid into the empty seat, savoring the drink for a minute before turning her attention to Juliet. "So are we talking about me for a bit and segueing to you or are we getting right to it?" She asked bluntly.
Juliet set down her cup, still uncomfortable with the idea of sitting there and talking about her issues. She was the person who sorted out other people. She was the person who didn't have issues, period. She wasn't the person who was sitting across from another girl actively trying to hold it together. Or at least, that never used to be. "By all means, talk about you for a bit. You're interesting enough."
"Nah, I'm boring," Chloe waved her hand as if her life truly was boring, when right then, given the night before it really was decidedly not. "I mean come on i was at the Golden Globes last night...there's nothing to talk about! "
"Yeah, you're dull as a stick," Juliet agreed with a laugh and a roll of her eyes. "I'm falling asleep right now, really, I am."
"I bet you are. i mean come on. Such boring things....although on an amusing note I was doing my best to keep Tim away from any ex-boyfriends we saw...which was really fairly futile but still it was amusing."
"Yeah?" Juliet arched an eyebrow, visibly amused at this fact. "Have several that were littering the red carpet?"
"A few" Chloe shrugged. Her romances when she'd been living in L..A. had never been secret and they'd been highly rumored. Although in her case the rumors often were to some extent factual. "I just ..hated the idea of anything being said about me to Tim, you know? Not that there's stories to tell or whatever but still.. The idea you know?"
"Yeah, I can imagine," Juliet said with a nod. If any of Josh's exs had ever come up to her and started telling her things about Josh, she might actually punch them. Okay, more accurately she'd glare them down in the coldest way she knew how, but that look could be pretty lethal. "It'd drive me absolutely crazy. But went okay, I presume?"
"Well i can't keep him from Greg obviously." Chloe explained. "Since he knew him back when he was dating Julie and No one can stop Greg from anything so Tim ended up talking to Chris at least. It could have been worse... And well It went well I think... Tim at least said it was a good conversation and had nothing to do about me. I've decided to believe him."
"That's probably the way to go. Anyway, who knew? Professor Fletcher, good guy to have on the red carpet with you. I'll have to keep that in mind," Juliet teased, taking a sip of her coffee.
Professor Fletcher. It always sounded weird to have him referred to as that even though she knew it was common. she just didn't think of him that way. "Yea, good guy to have on the carpet and champion Umbrella holder." She added with a grin.
She giggled at the image of him holding that umbrella. "Now that's a stand up guy. How did you ever get so lucky?"
"Hell if I know." Chloe laughed as she realised that she really did mean that. "I hated him three years ago...not sure how any of it happened." In fact she wasn't even sure how it was all going to end either. "I'm just glad he was so good about everything last night. I was worried, the Hollywood thing isn't his think you know?"
She didn't know but once again, she can imagine. "Careful not to turn him into a fame whore," Juliet warned, but it was a joke, obviously. "Soon he'll be staging photo ops and releasing a cologne..."
Chloe didn't have a witty response for that. The truth was she couldn't come up with one because she was laughing far too had at the image.
"Strangers things have happened!" Juliet pointed out, but she was laughing too.
"Stranger than Timothy Fletcher: fame whore?" Chloe asked still laughing. "Dear God I hope not. I don't know what I'd do! I love that man but...yea." The idea of Tim being like that was just far too hilarious to even put real words to what it would be like.
"Uh huh. Like men walking on the moon. Anchovies on pizza. Shall I go on?" She grinned. "But yeah, I think you're safe."
"No please don't go on, I'll be laughing far too hard to drink my coffee, and that would be a travesty." Chloe grinned right back at her a she took a sip from her cup for emphasis. "But yea, yea the globes is about all that's that new going on" She wasn't lying when she said that, or so she told herself the promise ring was far from new anymore. "I love this musical theatre class and things are going good with Tim. " That was true at least, they were going well despite the random spats over the last few weeks. In fact, Chloe was starting to think they were going well because of those spats. The knowledge that they could work through a fight made things seem more real.
"Sounds like things are going pretty well for you then," Juliet said, tracing a circle around the top of her cup. "That's really good for you. I'm glad." No twinge of jealousy or anything. Nope.
"They are for now." Chloe admitted. "What about you though? How are things? "
The dreaded question. But she knew it was coming. "Things are..." Juliet paused, trying to find the right word to describe it without being overly dramatic about it. "Messy. They're messy."
There were a handful of people who Chloe would have expected to never admit to things being messy and Juliet was one of them. She always had it together or at least had the appearance of it. Because of this Chloe was quiet for a moment and then she nodded. "Messy how?"
Instinct told her to back-pedal, and she began doing just that. "Not messy, per-se, but--" Who was she kidding? "Messy," she finished, rolling her eyes at herself. She didn’t want to get into the Thisbe thing, because that would involve talking about Thisbe and Knox and as much as it had annoyed her, it wasn’t up to her to say anything. The Josh thing was. "I'm going to New York in the fall. Josh has decided to drop out of school to follow me. I told him that's a bad idea, and we can live together in a year. He's taking that to mean I don't want him around. All in all..."
'Wow." It wasn't the most eloquent of responses but It was all Chloe could come up with. She'd heard Josh say that but she hadn't expected that reaction from Juliet about it. "he seems convinced to do it. "Chloe admitted finally. "I could see where the messy comes in though."
"And it's just ... I love him. I've loved him for years, and I don't want him to think any differently. But I don't think dropping out of school is the right choice, not just to follow me. But he's convinced our relationship won't last a year apart, but if we can't last a year, then what's the point? But what kind of person does that make me, that my boyfriend is willing to drop everything to be with me and I'm throwing a fit about it? Or is he being the unreasonable one by impulsively deciding to quit school? I don't know. I don't." Thing about Juliet was that if she DID get going, she had a hard time stopping.
"It makes you a logical person is what it makes you." Chloe pointed out, calm despite the fact that this was a side of Juliet she hadn't seen before. 'And anyone that knows you would see that that...makes sense. It's a romantic thought, you know? That he wants to follow you because he can't be apart from you but... you'll be in New York. It's only a few hours away. I could see why you wouldn't want him to drop it all."
Juliet was listening, she was, but there was more to spill out. "And his big defence is that this school is so expensive anyway, why bother? But it's not like he didn't know it was expensive when he signed up. It's not like he was thinking, 'well, I'll kill a few years and meet some girl and then drop out because why bother?'! He is being romantic, and if I was the hopeless romantic type, I'd be thrilled to pieces. But you're right, I am a logical person. So logical that I'm about to ruin this relationship for the second time and then I'm going to be the loneliest logical person in the world and then I'll really have something to complain about, huh? He can't see it from my side, I don't agree with his side and so I just don't know what to do. So I'm doing nothing, and it's killing me and I--" She stopped, eyes widening. "And I need to shut up."
"I think actually you need to go on." Chloe mused, surprised at the barrage of words that had spilled out. "If you need to talk about it, go for it. I'll listen. " She paused wondering if she should pop her two cents in or not and then going for it. "I don't think you're going to ruin the relationship. I think Josh is just worried about losing you. Has either one of you thought of some sort of compromise though? Like he continues school in New York? Or... You commute in to audition and worry about moving when you get a job? I mean Ideally you'd go and do you're thing he'd finish up and follow you. but... if it's that much of an argument... I am totally overstepping our sort of friendship bonds aren't i?"
She was grateful that Chloe was calm and logical right now to balance out her intense freak out. She needed that. It helped her calm down too. "About the commuting thing, the idea was to move to New York so I have that fear in me. If I stay here, I'm safe. But if I go there, it'll always be my number one priority. And honestly?" She bit her lip. "I need to get out. As for him finishing school in New York, we didn't discuss that one, actually. But with transferring credits and all ... I don't know. That's worth looking into, for sure," Juliet admitted. "And no. You're not. I needed that."
"So you're method is to jump into the life feet first." Chloe mused as she listened to Juliet. "It makes sense as for Josh... Talk about it. I don't know him well, in fact I hardly know him at all, except for a few journal comments and the photo shoot we did last week but maybe if he sees you trying to compromise he'll listen to what you have to say? It's a tough one Juliet. I mean... I love Tim, and we talk about being together for awhile but... There's no way I'd be good with him dropping everything just to follow me somewhere."
And those were the magic words. It literally felt like someone had been squeezing her heart and then loosened their grip, just a little bit. Because Chloe had just proven to her that Juliet wasn't being irrational and crazy, but that her thought process did make sense. That she wasn't the most horrible person ever because she was apprehensive about this. "Really?" she breathed out.
"Really." Chloe nodded. "I graduate next December. Tim works here." She pointed out. "I have no idea what it means except at LEAST a spring semester apart." She shrugged. "I do know though that we'd have a big problem if he followed me to L.A. I'm all for romantic gestures but not...when it borders on irrational, you know?"
"Thank you," Juliet said finally. "Because I was starting to feel like the absolute worst human being on the planet for not wanting him to follow me, just like that."
"My honest opinion?" Chloe wasn't worried about overstepping her bounds. "Is that it means you love him...really love him and not that heart stopping I can't live without you lusty thing that we always confuse for love....because you want what's best for him. And following you might not be the best course for him."
"I'd hug you right now, I would, if this table wasn't in the way." Feeling so, so much better Juliet took a drink of her cappuccino. "I do love him a lot. And I want him to know that, but ... we're both really good at the avoiding game when we need to be." She grimaced. "Healthy, huh?"
"You're what. twenty one?" Chloe wasn't a whole lot older than that but there were moments that she felt like that had been forever ago. "I'd say you're right about on track at the preferring to avoid things. You guys have some time to work it out though. All semester really, right?"
"Right." And then she was graduating. And as thrilled and excited as she was, it was scary too. The last 8 years of her life had been one constant routine, and she knew it well. More than that, she was good at it. But there was more to life than just school, there was the future she'd always dreamed out there for her, hopefully. It was just coming up so alarmingly soon. "Doesn't seem like enough time, somehow."
"I does go quickly." Chloe agreed. "Regardless of how it works with Josh...And I think you guys will figure something out... you'll love New York, you know? Love actually being out in the world and trying your hand at what you learned."
"That's what I've always thought. As scary as it is..." She shrugged a bit, draining the last of her cup. "I've never known a better thrill than fear." Juliet smiled wryly. "Want to hear something ridiculous? More ridiculous, I mean? I've always envisioned myself living alone, holed up in this tiny little apartment, going to endless auditions and doing this and that and doing it completely alone. And a small part of me thought that the reason I didn't want Josh to come was because it didn't fit in with that image."
'I don't know if that's ridiculous." Chloe thought it over smiling as she pictured Juliet doing just that . "I think it just seems like it's something you might want to try totally on your own... just to see if you could." Not that that was a desire Chloe ever had, she'd learned enough about herself since she'd moved out of her parents house to know that she didn't like doing things alone.
That part of her did exist. Definitely. But a larger part of her wanted Josh there, the security of having him if nothing else ... but under different circumstances. Under circumstances where he wasn't dropping out of college. "I'm sorry," she said instead. "I don't like to ... explode, on people." Another wry little smile popped out. "I feel like that's all I'm doing anymore." The loss of controlwas terrifying, but it was easier to deal with than the stress of the situation clawing up her insides completely.
"You know. everyone needs to explode every once in awhile." Chloe decided, the smile on her face smile. but very evident. "Seriously, it'd fine Juliet. Sometimes it even helps."
"Tell no one," Juliet said with a wag of her finger. She was joking, kind of. Mostly Juliet was ready to take control over her life again. She was usually so good at maintaining order, even throughout chaos, but that hadn't been the story as of late. Still, Chloe had managed to make her feel a lot better about the situation and for that Juliet was endlessly grateful.