Re: badinage | 7-31-2020 | 9am “I love you, Evangeline Silvercloud.” He hugged her and she held to him like never before. His next words rang through her, markedly more impactful than the last: “Don’t be scared.” Did he know why she was afraid? It seemed so, and the relief she felt was Atlas shirking the globe. Her heart began to slow again, and Nate spoke to her, a literal tete-a-tete. Despite a few nose twitches and crinkles at being emotionally touched by his words, she was in a much less tearful place. “I know how we end. We end together, I can feel it.”
Zap sent the warmed, gentlest buzz of purple energy out from her hands and over his shoulders and torso as an extension of their embrace. "...I won’t deny you that ability to explore it..." Was he saying yes to the dress? She was saying yes to his sweater, that was for certain. In one of the most gentle and least uptight gestures Nate had made, he dabbed at her face with his own sleeves and she smiled finally. She'd soaked up every word, to that point, and as Nate exhaled, she was ready for the other shoe to drop.
"I'm jealous ... very jealous ... want you all to myself."
That was something that hit the ears worse than the term 'dating' for Eva. But Nate's thick, busy lips were caressing the backs of her fingers and she fought the last few tears that threatened to fall when he emphasized the support he offered for things that were important to her. "I trust and love you too."
"You should know how grateful I am. I know this is a big ask, and I don't have a road map. But everything you said about how you feel... I knew those things because I'd felt them already." She gave a big sigh and glanced toward the table. She cleared her throat, and instead of joking about their small amount of alone time before the wolf pack appeared, she felt her fat bottom lip jut out and she closed her eyes. When she reopened them, her face was red and wet and anguished.
"I was afraid you'd stand up and take Brayden and leave and never come back..." Zap panted out a few deep breaths and kept her composure enough not to pull her legs up into her chair and hug them to her chest. Her boots remained on the ground when she realized there was a deep indigo tinge to the air. No, no. That looked abnormal. The jacuzzi had a shimmer across it that was actually static energy. 'Breathe. This is not a cute look', she coached herself. So she breathed. "I'm sorry. I've never allowed myself feelings this honest for anyone... It's why I'm so close to my family. If I have the support I need, and the love to give back to them, I knew I wouldn't ever need a partner. Someone to rely on, to trust, to hand off the power to..." Zap shrugged, having gotten choked up again and also not willing to finish the sentence. The air was clearing and the ion smell was returning to waffle aroma.
She smiled in hopes of telling him she was in recovery for her self-inflicted emotional damage, despite the battle scar tear streaks. "You would have every right to walk out, you still do." Sniffle. "I'm sorry," she gave a small laugh as she gestured to her less-made-up face and slightly static-y hair. She dabbed at the necessary spots with her napkin and tossed it back on the table.
The facade was cracking, and that was another key concern for Miss Silvercloud...