la_calisto (la_calisto) wrote in maschinell, @ 2015-01-10 22:10:00 |
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dear mother,
I brought you honeysuckle flowers
and dew drops from the trees
I hope you like them
they reminded me of you.
I thought of you today as I walked the square
and looked at the foliage
and I saw you on the face of every stranger
heard you in the voice of every songbird
I saw you
I saw
dear mother,
I made a friend today
I didn't like him much
(you told me I should never
see? I've been listening)
I thought of emptying his insides
sharp draw from corner to corner
just like you showed me
but I know that isn't allowed
and death isn't a thing that should be wasted
You told me that, I remember
I remember all the things you say
lips curled around each word
words like nectar
honeysuckle flowers and tear drops from a
sad little boy who was
so foolish
and unworthy of your love
I won't make friends again
I’m sorry
dear mother,
the prophet smiled at me today
or... rather, he smiled near me
I was on the other side of the room, preparing
the rituals as he instructed
he could have been smiling at any old thing
or perhaps
perhaps I’ve finally done something right
perhaps I can make him proud
and earn that pride from you
that's all I’ve ever wanted
he's such a respectable man
I admire him
I’ll be like him some day
he'll show me how
and you will smile
and perhaps I will too
I make him angry
when I open my mouth
but the words just spill out and I can't catch them
someday I’ll learn everything and then
the holy ones will smile, too
dear mother,
the sun shines so brightly
on my broken skin
i'm tired but I won't rest
because I know I still have more to do
for you
and it might not ever be enough
but it has to be
I feel lost sometimes
but you told me to pray
and I pray
and pray
pray
pray
they don't speak to me
not nearly as much as you do
please let me know
what I’m doing wrong
I want to fix it
for you
dear mother,
where has the sun gone?
It dipped into dreaming
beneath the storm clouds
it must be in the same place
my happiness fled to
after they took you away
but you're still here
with me
they can't take you
they can't
they can't
can't
can't
i'm not alone
not
alone
alone