mercwitamouth (mercwitamouth) wrote in marvel_united, @ 2009-02-05 00:31:00 |
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Entry tags: | deadpool |
Who: Deadpool
NPCs: Nerdy Scientist
When: January, 29th 2009
Where: Weapon X Facility.
What: Wade gets a special gift from everyone's favorite clandestine program.
Rating: PG
“All the classic heroes had one! James Bond had Q, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had Donatello. And me? Well, it seems I get stuck with you. A loser. A freaking Red Shirt with no social skills. So what’s your name? “X?” Wait, sorry, wrong game and affiliation. Where is my head today?” As usual, Wade Wilson’s mouth was running a mile a minute from his leisurely spot at the conference table. He was leaning back, clad in a red sleeveless shirt and black cargo pants. They were in one of Weapon X’s nifty underground bunkers so he was currently without his full arsenal. All he had were a pair of pistols. Seated across from him was a nerdy scientist type, clearly at a loss for words to describe Wilson’s unique personality.
“So spill it bald patch? Why was I brought down here? You’re not gonna have a bunch of dudes come in here to have your way with me in your freaky pseudoscientific experiments again are you? Cause I’m not down for that again. That first time was painful enough, that second time was cause of all the liquor and as for that third time… well I thought maybe I’d like it again. Boy was I wrong.” A smirk formed on his face at the man’s flustered reaction. He had that effect on people and when his mouth went up against some super powered idiot, well things tended to lean in his favor. “What nifty doo-dads you boys in the tech division have for me today?”
“W-Well Mr. Wilson,” The nerd began before being interrupted.
“Deadpool please. Mr. Wilson was the mailman that mommy dearest was banging on the side.. At least that’s what dad always told me..” Wade said, rubbing his chin in mock contemplation.
“Colonel Stryker was reviewing the report from several years ago when you first fought Weapon X and lost..” The geek shrunk in his chair, afraid of what Deadpool would do at the mention of being bested by Logan.
“Hey! The sun was in my eyes!” Wade leaned forward, slamming his fist on the table. Sometimes it felt good to be cliché. “Not only that but you idiots at Weapon X gave me a banana for desert in my lunch bag instead of a Little Debbie Snack cake! That’s like bringing a knife to a gun fight in the merc world! What was a I suppose to do? Help him die of potassium poisoning? You guys were fucking up my chi and you’re gonna blame me for that loss?” Deadpool shook his head, standing up. “I should find your Human Resource officer and have you fired.”
“Please sir, just listen..” The nerd tried to reason. “Colonel Stryker felt your equipment could use an upgrade so he had us use the liquid reserves from the last.. venture to make you something..”
“Oh? Something shiny? Weeeeell.. maybe your H.R. Department doesn’t need to know about this if I get something shiny out of it.” Deadpool reasoned, sitting back down in his chair.
“Well, these were forged and based on the pair you currently carry in the field. Made from adamantium and sharpened to a razor’s edge.” The scientist presented a pair of katana to Deadpool.
“Oooh, Wade like. Shiny stop Wade from cutting nerd’s head off.” Deadpool picked the weapons up examining them. Oh yeah.. He was definitely ready for a rematch.