InsaneJournal

Phone Call: Bruckheimer Makes the Pitch
Characters: —
NPCs: Howard Stark, Charles Xavier, & Jerry Bruckheimer
Location: California to New York
Timeline: November 3, 2012
Description: Stark and Xavier get a call from California.
Rating: G

”Hello?”

“Charles.”

“Howard.”

“Gentleman.”

“Who is this again?”

“Howard, this is Jerry Bruckheimer.”

“Howard and I are acquainted already.”

“What’s this all about? Fury’s not here too, is he?”

“Who?”

“No, this has nothing to do with that. Now, Mr. Bruckheimer, you said you had something you wished to discuss with us.”

“Yes. I’m sure the two of you are familiar with the show The Amazing Race, am I correct?”

“Vaguely.”

“A number of my students watch it, yes.”

“Do I need to explain what it is for you, Stark?”

“No, just get to the point. I’m not exactly in a chatty mood.”

“Look, you both have great institutions. Schools where you take a bunch of smart and talented kids and you make them even better. Your kids saved Manhattan, possibly even the world, to be honest. We don’t know what those terrorists were up to, but let’s face it, you two are doing a swell job.”

“I said get to the point, Bruckheimer, not try to feed my ego.”

“Our egos.”

“I want to put some of your kids on the next season of The Amazing Race.”

“Pardon?”

“That’s not funny.”

“I’m being perfectly serious, gentleman. Look, I’ve gotten everything detailed out for you. I’m sending an email now. Howard, if I know you, check your junk mail folder. You two should be receiving it any second. The basics? No kid participates unless their parents agree to it and we’ve organized it in a way we can do it around some period of time where your kids aren’t in class. We’re not going to send them into war zones, just to different places around the world. Friendly competition, fun, and good memories. Your schools get even more press and a better rep.”

“I don’t like the idea of advertising my students. They are not only young and impressionable, but also mutants. I am not fond of putting them into a situation where they might be ostracized.”

“It’s a game and an adventure. If anything, you’re gaining more than you’re losing here, Xavier. This is the good kind of press. People will be rooting for your kids and it’ll show the public that mutants aren’t scary or mean.”

“That’s a very radical opinion, Mr. Bruckheimer”

“It’s Hollywood, Professor. If we’re not making DC squirm, we’re not doing our job.”

“I don’t know...”

“We’ll give it a talk and then let you know our decision. My lawyers will have a nice chat with yours and if there’s something we seen in these contracts or waivers we don’t like, it’s not happening.”

“Sounds fine by me, but I think we took all the risks into consideration.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“It was nice speaking with you, Mr. Bruckheimer.”

“You too, Professor Xavier. Stark.”

“Bruckheimer.”

“—click—”

“Howard. Are you actually considering this?”

“I don’t know what the hell I’m thinking at this point, Charles. That’s why I said we’d talk and think it over.”

“He did make a convincing argument. This could do some good and perhaps put Senator Kelly’s inquisition to a halt.”

“Let me got some coffee in me and get this legal mumbo jumbo to my lawyers. I hate Hollywood, they’re worse than the politicians.”

“I’ll have mine look over it as well.”

“Good.”