[ ... after a number of false starts and hesitation, finally just snaps out: ]

Are you awake?

[ oh, marina asylum! good morning! a rather pretty pretty face is presenting itself in the communicator. it's a bit belatedly, but oh, well, right? the cheeks are round (a bit of remaining baby fat), eyes blue and pale, eyelashes extraordinarily thick and long—although, golden not black or brown—and hair honey in color, but a little unkempt. it's incredibly youthful, and girlish just as much as it is boyish and vice versa. for a brief moment, there's a really concentrated look, and then— ]

It's really personal to be able to know all of that—[ the break between speaking is very slight; the accent is british, light and airy, and a little more raspy than what's normal for him. (his throat is a bit raw, you see.) ] My entire life. If you're going to be so sodding personal about it, the least you could do is address me properly. It isn't, "Welcome, inmate," it's: "Welcome, the Earl Alois Trancy of Buckinghamshire."

[ this is clearly important. clearly. his face rises a little and he slides his eyes shut in what's supposed to look like offended dignity. acumen, you are such lowlife. ]

Oh, but perhaps we don't even need titles. Oh, no. Let's just do without them completely. [ it's funny, because there's a half-truth to this. for all his aristocratic and snobby airs, he really fucking hates nobles. legitimate nobles. people born with silver spoons in their mouths who act as though the world owes them everything, and isn't that a laugh? hypocrisy? oh, hell yes! but, he doesn't care. ] Addressing the Earl by 'Alois Trancy'—or, hell, even Alois alone should be dandy, shouldn't it? But, inmate is not acceptable.

If I'm to remain here the rest of my li—

[ there's a quiver in his tone, a choke. his teeth set, his eyes clench, and he swallows very, very hard. —alois arrived sometime during the night, and being easily prone to night terrors, he had not slept through it. he awoke and imagine his dismay, of course, when he found he was not in his own bed. the majority of the rest of the night and early morning, once arriving, was spent throwing the most massive tantrum.

he screamed, hollered, wailed, sobbed, and called out for claude—his butler—time and time again. 'Houheo taralna, rondero tarel' was chanted again and again and again, in throat ruining desperation. he wrecked his welcome basket and did his best to throw himself against a wall, because someone needs to be punished for keeping him from claude (he didn't walk away without a few bruises, either). it's been hours later, and claude still hasn't appeared. he is devastated and furious. and!, in spite of his needless complaining, he's teetering. poorly trying to keep himself together. to say he's 'calmed down,' is an overstatement. he's simply bitter. ]

... Life. The rest of my life, then you'll call me 'Alois,' at the very least. [ 'inmate' sounds like a thing and fuck that, if he's going to feel like an object again. ]

Oh—! Though, I have to tell you: this is my first time seeing the ocean! [ his voice pitches here. it's lilting, amused, like suddenly he's having a friendly chat. (yeah, what? this kid.) ] I always knew it would be beautiful, because it's so large and so fucking deep, [ oh, best brace yourself for crude language, too, ] but I hadn't imagined to what extent. A lot of things are really easy to imagine, but there's probably not enough room in our brains alone to comprehend all the things that can be found in the ocean. In a way, I suppose you could say, you've given me something I've always wanted.

It's true, it's my first time seeing it, and I always suspected when Claude would finally take me to the shore I would only get to see the surface. And, as far into it I'd go would be up to my shoulders. The surface is really lovely, too, though. How it sits so close to the sky, like they're kissing. I've seen it in paintings and I'm always so jealous of the ladies who are painted next to them. Rivers and lakes aren't as beautiful. They don't have that sort of blue. They're only green and dirty. 'Paint my portrait, too, Claude,' I've asked him, but we're always too busy and much too far from the seaside. From anywhere, really. I don't think I've been anywhere outside of Buckinghamshire in ... hum, well, quite a long time! [ he giggles a little, and the recording shows him rocking slightly. he's sitting upon some mats, doing his best to avoid exercising entirely, and kicking one of his legs with youthful enthusiasm. ] Oh, ahaha, I've almost forgotten. Of course you must have known all that. You watch very closely, don't you? I wonder, just what kind of 'artificial life form' you are, Mister Acumen? Should you be evaluating yourself for crimes, too?

—Ah. [ his eyes widen a bit, and he stills. his head cants. ] I'm really well taken care of, you know. Just what do you intend to have me do about food, and bathing, and dressing?



(bitty ooc note!: ack, i um. could be wrong about this...? feel free to correct me! but, as it's tuesday, i'm assuming alois is in sector six for exercise today. c: please, feel free to run into him or visit him or whatevs!)

[When the video clicks on, Mokou sits in a relatively dark room. With a large icepack on her head.]

Look, if you wanna call this place a prison, keep track of your "inmates." At least the ones on the outside have metal bars and handcuffs to keep all the humans from escaping. Honestly. You are the shittiest warden...

So, who hasn't vanished into the abyss? Four days, yes, but gods know who's gone by now.

[She looks like she's about to turn the feed off, but reconsiders for a moment.]

Also, to the newbies? Yes, you're in prison. Yes, you're possibly chained up. Stop fucking complaining. [BECAUSE, YOU KNOW...SHE TOTALLY DIDN'T UTTER DEATH THREATS OVER THE NETWORK WHEN SHE FIRST ARRIVED. NOPE.]


[Private to Reisen]

Inaba. Get your ass over to Sector Five, before I hunt you down like the scared rabbit you are. ♥ [She makes a heart-shape with her hands. Reisen, run.]

-- thing on? [There’s a boy on the screen, both confused and very annoyed. Must be a new guy.] Pretty nice for a prison if they’re giving away free, weird toys to their prisoners.

Hey! Anyone listening? How can I get in touch with the guy in charge about my place here? Not that I’m surprised to find myself in prison, but they could’ve at least put me inside the right one.

[...Okay, now that's new. If not, then something other inmates haven't heard in a while.]

Unless his royal highness did something... [Muttering to himself before it turns into grumbles.] …even if I doubt that.

Hey, anyone seen a girl with short red hair and a big, round guy that answers to Faylen and Faylon? If you two are here, you guys better let me know! [A bit of concern can be heard and seen from him. That first, dealing with this stupid chain and ball later.]

Aheh, um... hi, Marina! [ Oh look, it's the young blue-haired woman from this morning. The one who was called out for the fire "drill". You know... the one that woke up EVERYONE IN THE SHELTER and even soaked a few people?

Yeah. That one!

She clears her throat and straightens herself up. No sense in looking fearful, now! She made her bed, and now it was time to sleep in it. ]

Some of you might not know who I am, so let me introduce myself first. My name is Ser-- [ Oops. Habit. ] Um, Subaru Nakajima. You can call me Subaru!

[ Here she claps her hands together before her face in a pleading gesture. ] I am really, really sorry for the disturbance this morning. That was completely my idea and my fault for waking everyone up before Acumen's announcement, but you see... [ Though she should be rushed -- trying to cover her ass -- Subaru takes a calming breath and tries to take this slow and professionally. ] Yes, Acumen says that the emergency system is functional, and I trust him on that. But, the system can only do so much. It's preparations that you can make, and practice in dealing with emergency situations, that will ultimately ensure that you the best chance of making it out of a real fire alive. [ And not depending on others. ] At least I can say with full confidence that most of you this morning acted quickly and probably would have been just fine if it had been a real fire!

--even if there are some out there who could have paid better attention to the directions, and a few more who seemed to sleep right through it... [ She tries not to sound disappointed, but she's also not going to call anyone out. ]

[ Once more, she puts her hands up and bows her head forward until it touches the edge of her desk. ] Everyone, please forgive me once more for that behavior! [ Raising her head up, she grins a bit. ] I promise, next time, it will not happen unnanounced! [ And there, she waves and cuts off the feed on her end. ]

( [private -- voice] )

[video -- public]

[The video shows a confused looking Japanese man in his mid-twenties, blinking at the screen from behind large glasses. He beams as he realises he's managed to get the device to work, speaking cheerfully.]

Ah! I was beginning to think this wasn't working. Perhaps it would be useful to provide clear instructions to make it easier for us to work these? After all, an old man such as myself struggles to understand all this modern technology. I'm afraid I've fallen too far behind the times.

On geography, too, it would seem. I've never heard of the Eloquois Ocean before. I wonder whereabouts it's located? It seems rather an odd place for a prison. Although perhaps you are used to it here.

[ooc: Action is also available for those I've talked about it with.]

[ This voice is both annoyed and confident. She's not pleased to be here, but she's not going to let anyone know that she's a little uncertain too. ] I am so tired of being kidnapped. I mean, at least these people are better at it than the last ones, but this whole thing is just sad. I can't believe I've been arrested again. I didn't even feel them coming. [ There's a pause and then she repeats it to herself again, as if disbelieving. ] Didn't feel a thing...

Plus, I want to know who came up with these charges. So I put a few holes in the wall and ran away from people who tried to lock me up. No one mentioned that I helped save the world too? Doesn't that count in my favor? Maybe Katara would like this underwater thing, but I'm not buying it. [ She's a bit sulky, don't mind her. There's another hesitation, because she's letting her irritation get away with her, and finally she sighs and makes herself sound more cheerful, more normal. ]

At least the food in the basket was good. What kind of prison has a welcome committee?

This one, I guess. So, tell me, strangers, what are you in for?

[it’s hard to acquaint one’s self with new technology when you don’t even know how to turn it on properly. truth be told, Herbert wouldn’t be surprised in the least if it turned out that this was just a very elaborate toy or if it didn’t work at all. this might be a lucid dream but he's not even gonna wonder where the logic in this particular one is or what kind of awful, nasty things his brain is trying to tell him by picking out such a - colorful locale.

imagine his surprise when it turns out that the thing does work. the video feed opens to him primly sitting on his knees, neat as can be even with the ugly cuff wrapped around his right foot. he shifts a few times, causing the chain to rattle gently, before dipping one hand out of frame to where the welcome basket is beside him. seconds later, he comes up with a bag of pretzels. whether or not he’s bothered that the clothing he’s wearing is covered in copious amounts of dried blood and viscera or if it even registers properly remains to be seen. If he is aware, he doesn’t seem particularly bothered by it.

after a few minutes of crunching away, he swallows and wipes a few crumbs off his lips.]

I don’t like salted pretzels. [he says this nonchalantly but in a tone that suggests everyone with half a brain should know this incredibly vital bit of trivia.] More importantly, I don’t like the ocean. I was under the impression that near-death experiences cause your life to flash before your eyes, but considering that I haven’t been to a beach since the age of five, it would seem that I’ll have to reevaluate my assessment.

[he pops another pretzel into his mouth, and this time his expression becomes very…unamused.]

Dream, then. Is this the part where I’m supposed to learn something enlightening about myself, or the part where manifestations of my psyche come to ridicule me? Either way, I’d like to get this over with as quickly as possible, if you please. [CRUNCH.] I have something that needs to be taken care of back in Arkham. A way to remove this - [again, the chain rattles.] - would be ideal as well. If I’m going to be traipsing about here for God knows how long, I would like to do it in relative comfort.

[The girl looking at the camera is thoroughly unimpressed. She doesn't bother trying to hide it.]

Seriously? I'm finally through with that community service bullshit, and I end up here? Look, I've paid my debt, or whatever. Now you're telling me I've been sent to prison by a fucking robot? You'd better be kidding about this being for the rest of my life.

[She sighs, exasperated, rolling her eyes.] I'm so tired of dealing with this shit. I just want to go home and be normal for once. That really shouldn't be too much to ask for. That's what most people get without even trying.

Nathan, if you've got anything to do with this, I'm going to fucking kill you. Do you hear me?

[The woman who shows up on your screen this time Marina, looks upset. In many ways. At times it may appear clear that she is torn about this whole situation.]

I will only say this once - my name is Soma Peries. I don't care why I've been brought here. I accepted the weight of my crimes long ago. But why should I be punished here? You are not the ones with the right to place judgment. [No, that was the people that she had hurt. Back home. But even so...]

I ask you now... who are you all, and why are you here? [Her voice is a bit cold and calculating like the ex-soldier she is, but there's a hint of the well-meant concern and curiosity there, buried underneath her harsh exterior.]

And... Allelujah Haptism... if you can hear this... [Clearly she's not pleased, or comfortable with this at all, hesitating a bit. She huffs.] ...don't make her worry. [The same as 'don't make me worry', but Soma won't admit that.]

HELLO, MARINA. I'M R2-D2.

THE INCLUSION OF DROIDS HERE SEEMS TO INDICATE A LACK OF AN APPROPRIATE ALGORITHM FOR DETERMINING THE SEVERITY OF CRIMES AND APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENTS. BASED ON AVAILABLE DATA, THERE IS A 64% CHANCE THAT I AM HERE MERELY BECAUSE THE WARDEN IS LONELY.

HE'S CUTE, BUT MY PROFESSIONAL OPINION IS THAT HE'LL PROBABLY PLAY HARD TO GET.