[She offers Steve a subdued smile. She understands that pain well.]
With the two individuals I'm thinking of, there were a few factors. I think the bottom line was finding a way in which we could relate. One of them had also traveled through space, so he and I shared a commonality and that opened a door. The other...
He asked to join the Defense Force back when we had access to weapons, and insinuated to me during his application that he would hurt others if given the chance. I recommended that he not be accepted, and he was angry. But more than that, he took it very personally.
I was intrigued by that. A person who was merely violent would be upset, but not in the same way Sougo was upset. He was hurt, I realized, but covering it with anger. I had to be very patient, and gently discover why. He wouldn't explain such personal things very easily, because he had bee hurt by people before. After a bit of time he began to tell me, and now he is a dear friend who I would trust with my life. [Her smile has shifted, softer and grateful.]
But that is not something that will work for every scenario. What you should do depends on whether your intent is to befriend this man, or to be able to work together, or to relieve your guilt over the way things have turned out.