[She never meant for things to be so messy. She fell in love with Piotr at first sight and had every intention to spend the rest of her life with him. And in one version of her story she did, but only in the most tragic way possible.
Fighting a deadly rebellion as outcasts wasn't as neat or orderly as Star Fleet either. Everything was fast and hard and life or death. It wasn't just both ends of a candle burning it was every point in between. Getting breakfast could be an intense situation. Reid criticized her once for everything being so dramatic with her and he wasn't wrong. It was the very fabric of the world she was from and she's changed and calmed so much, but that passion and intensity is still very much a part of her. She fights and loves and mourns powerfully.
In twenty years some of those rougher edges may smooth over like they did in that glimpse. She may burn more steadily. It gets a little better every day but it's no easy road.
She clings to him, content to let this hug last a good, long time. So much of her wants to tell him he already does, but it implies too much. They've been over that. It would make it mean less if she said it now. She can't do that to him either.]
Are you sure? I wouldn't blame you if you wanted out. [It hurts to even ask or suggest. She doesn't want him to be out. But she doesn't want to be the one who gives him his first messy heartbreak someday. That wasn't in the vision, but it could be in the cards.]