[ A thousand years old. Her mind can barely wrap around the number, even despite the fact that she knows the pureblood can live for eternity. Both her parents were over three thousand when they had finally decided to have her. To be honest, she doesn't know what the standard is. Probably, Yuuki assumes, she's the youngest pureblood to have a child of her own. By their standards, Ai herself is no younger than Yuuki.
How old must she be by the time she has him? And Zero...? His lifespan is not the same as that of a pureblood. But she hopes that it matches her own. After all, they mutually share one another's blood.
Pulling back a little, her hands reach out to grasp his. Those eyes- his gaze direct, but gentle, is so familiar. Brows knitting in concern, an apology lingers upon her lips.]
I'm sorry... [He's old enough, she thinks, to be able to handle such a situation bravely. But it doesn't make it any more easy. No one ever wants to be forgotten. Least of all by their parents. If he knows that he's older than her, it means he must have spoken to one of the others already within the household.]
I'm seventeen. The mother that you're familiar with- I hope that she makes less mistakes than I do. That she's been able to love you fully and completely, and to be there always.[To love with all of her heart. It's the sort of mother she wants to be, but she knows want and what is real don't always match up. Gaze falling, her hands tighten softly upon his.]
I want to be all of those things for you. [Softly-] But the me of right now stumbles and falls all of the time. Sometimes I make the wrong decisions, and I make really stupid mistakes. I'm not clever, and I've hurt the people I love. [Zero, Ai, and so many others. Over and over again she can make the wrong decision, and doesn't always learn.]
As things are, I'll probably hurt you...
[Not intentionally. She's never went out of her way to try and cause harm, least of all to someone who is supposed to look up to her. She doesn't want to mess up, and she doesn't want him to suffer or hurt.]
I wont always be able to say the right thing, or know just what to do. My heart's hammering, and I'm nervous. I'm scared to let you down. I'm scared that I'm letting Ai down. I don't feel in control of a number of things, and I'm at a loss. [Of course it's overwhelming. She's a seventeen year old girl, who's only just lost her fiance, to find that she's a parent of two. It's an abrupt stop to any teenagers life.]
But I promise you- I'm going to try to be the person you need most.