Oh come on, you can gossip with me. [Unintentionally sounding the most Mom ever.]
But honestly, if you are - you should tell me. Me or the Me that you know back home because in either world you really need to hear the Condom Talk. But I don't want to steal my own thunder on that one if I don't have to. [Muttering under her next breath:] Though I guess I'm not a prime example of orderly when it comes to...