[She wants to pull out a cigarette, but she doesn't, instead reaching up to push back her hair. And then there's a slow nod. He has a point here. It's the one she's been avoiding, but it's the one she needs to bring up more than any other. Whether the wardens set her up for this or not doesn't really matter at this point because it's where she is that's important.]
I...I do look at some of them in ways I didn't before.
Jack was one of them. Things have been...harder ever since the day we were happily married. [There'd been attraction before that and friendship but she'd never allowed herself to think beyond that because it's just not how she's wired. She's always been a loyal one-person kind of woman. Even when she was falling for Reid she didn't recognize it was happening because she was still with Tyki even though they'd never made any kind of promise of commitment to each other. But this time she'd been single when it happened even though she hadn't wanted to be. Her heart was still Reid's. He was still her first thought the next morning.] It's complicated. I don't think it would work outside of a dream or their games. [It's hard not to hear his words to her that morning after their marriage. "It would have worked."]
And Chekov... [He holds her when she's upset. He doesn't analyze her. She closes her eyes, but it doesn't stop a tear from slipping through.]