That's all I've ever wanted. [Which in the moment she means about Chekov, but in a larger sense it's all she's wanted since the day her parents died. She's been looking to replace that love for so long and she has with mentors and teammates and a husband and friends and lovers. But she just keeps losing people and it feels like the hole gets wider and deeper and more impossible to climb out of. She wants someone who will love her and not leave or get killed or lost. These aren't things she can control. She can control kissing him though so she does that.]