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Tweak says, "I'm totally crushing!"

Yuuki Kuran (trappedinresin) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2016-03-19 21:16:00

Entry tags:

ai kuran, fai d flourite, kazuki makabe, sebastian michaelis, souji okita, yuuki kuran, yuuri shibuya, zero kiryuu

Day 367 - Action
[Evening - Within Trois Park.]

[If she could disappear into the ground she would. Simply melt into the earth beneath her and lose all sense of feeling. Become the grass, or the trees maybe. Living, but unfeeling, incapable of being hurt by the many things all around her. Life would be so simple if there was a switch, to simply turn her emotions off and not have to feel the very real crushing weight within her chest. Instead, as though to mock her very real pain, the greenery around her shifted and changed, mirroring her emotions. It was out of season, but where the cherry tree against her back should have been leafy greens, pink blossoms bloomed and fell in excess. Like the tears that streamed silent down her cheeks, they fell to the ground, and covered her and the earth beneath in pink and white petals, like snow. It zapped some of her strength, something that only happened here in Marina, but she could hardly put a stop to the way her emotions ran wild. Butterflies fluttered around the scene, and would seem out of place if not for the large, blood-like butterfly wings that decorated her back.

She had lost everything. Everything she had fought so hard to accomplish had fallen into ruin. Even though she had tried her hardest, even though she wanted more desperately than anyone to work for peace, and to stop and save her brother... it hadn't made one single difference. He had been right. 'No matter how hard you try, sometimes it will amount to nothing.']

Oniisama...

[It was all her fault. Now he was gone, frozen forever without a heart. What had she done wrong? She had tried so desperately to be the person that he had wanted, but she had failed. And now eternity would be hers to spend alone. She was a mother, she learned, all in the same day that apparently she had become a widow, or close enough. How was she supposed to be a mother, when she couldn't even protect the one person she had always loved? And now of all times? She was only seventeen. One year older than the girl who looked just like her and claimed to be her daughter. There was no doubt that she was. But Yuuki didn't know how to be there for or take care of her, when her own world was crashing all around. It was better if the girl ran as far away from her as she could.

Everything I love or get close to dies. As though her touch was toxic. One after another. Her mother and father, and now Kaname, too. Zero and Ai-- they weren't safe around someone like her. Eyes brimming with tears, she helplessly lifted a hand up to scrub at them. Her soul hurt, and she didn't know how to move forward from it.]

[OOC: After ICly learning that her fiance is gone after meeting with her future daughter. She wont have been home all day! Sorry for the mourning post, I had to get it out of the way :'| ]

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	trappedinresin 2016-03-21 11:28 am UTC (link)
	[Tearfully she shakes her head against him. That kind of disappearance would be lonely and upsetting. But not so much that she'd have no hope of seeing him again. Even if they are asleep, she has faith that they'll go home. But when Yuuki goes home, there will be one less person waiting for her.] Kaname. [A choked sob] He's gone. A-Ai and Zero said he's gone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	demon_king 2016-03-23 03:59 am UTC (link)
	You mean in the future at home? [He holds her a little tighter unsure how else to make it better.] Gone how? [Did he... Is he... Dead?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

trappedinresin
2016-03-23 04:54 am UTC (link)

[She nods her head, another sob slipping past her throat. The more she tries to talk, the more difficult it becomes. Admitting it aloud just hurts. More than anything she's ever felt before.]

He sacrificed himself, Yuuri. [Helpless, her fingers curl tighter, shaking her head against him, staining his shirt wet with tears.] He'll never say another word to be again.

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demon_king
2016-03-23 12:55 pm UTC (link)

[Shirts aren't as important as Yuukis. He rubs her back, trying to do something—anything to make her feel even the tiniest bit better.] He cared about you a lot. If it was for you he would have done anything. It must be what he wanted. [Not that it makes it less sad. The same could be true of anything Conrad might do for him, but he wouldn't be less heartbroken for it.]

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	trappedinresin 2016-03-25 02:33 am UTC (link)
	[That's wrong. Those kinds of thoughts. Shaking her head, she swallows painfully, the tears falling faster and thicker.] I never asked for that! [To be the one left behind. To have someone go so far for her. Never once as she wanted that kind of thing.] First mother and father, and now Kaname, too. [Doesn't he see?] Everyone I love disappears. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	demon_king 2016-03-25 04:02 am UTC (link)
	[He hugs her a little tighter.] I know. [It's soft and understanding.] It's not fair. [For what it's worth, Yuuri has always been here, but he can't control it. He could be gone tomorrow. He'll be gone if they ever get to choose to leave too.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

trappedinresin
2016-03-25 07:41 pm UTC (link)

[She doesn't know what to do from here. She doesn't know how to mother or parent. She doesn't know who to turn to for help at home. She's all alone. By now she knows what they tried to do to her memories. Absolutely no one else cares about her existence. It's so insignificantly small and she's never felt so lost and lonely as she does now. The one person back home who could offer anything at all, is the one person she absolutely can't allow herself to depend on, either.

Yuuri... Her grip tightens. He's the only one who even knowing what she is, never hated or rejected her. He's never left her, and has always welcomed her back. Tears redoubling, she sobs.]

I don't want to be alone! [Kaname...! Why had everything become so messed up? All she had ever wanted was to be happy. She had tried so hard to be the person he needed.] Why... [Her voice cracks, shaking her head against him. Thorn covered vines curl up and around the tree, shifting and growing as her tears reign down.] Why did things turn out this way? I was happy just being together. And now... [They'll never have that again. Hurting, she lifts a hand up to wipe uselessly at her eyes] I don't know what I'm supposed to do without him.

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demon_king
2016-03-30 03:53 am UTC (link)

[It's only the sound of the vines twisting and gripping the bark that draws his attention if momentarily. He's not sure what to make of it, but as long as they aren't in immediate danger he'll ignore it. Yuuki is his first priority when she's this upset. He doesn't even think about how calming her is probably the key to calming nature around them.] I don't know.

[His voice is low and concerned.] I know it isn't the same, but you're not alone, Yuuki. I'm here. Zero is here. We'd both do anything for you.

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trappedinresin
2016-03-31 04:14 pm UTC (link)

[She knows he would. And now she knows that both of them would. She knows that for however long they're able- for however long their lives last- they'll be there for her if she needs them. It's only that... she doesn't want to be left behind.

And losing Kaname hurts. No matter what he's done, she can't forget the protective brother who loved her so much, too. But she's failed to save him. Everything she had wanted to do and accomplish-- all of it has ended in failure. Always she had thought that if she was a vampire it gave her the ability to help others, and accomplish the things she wanted to do. But now she knows better. It isn't about her being a human or vampire at all. It's just her.

Eyes squeezing shut, she swallows thickly and nods. There's no answers for all of what happened. She knows that all too well.]

Just stay with me like this for a little while. [Please.]

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demon_king
2016-04-18 03:19 am UTC (link)

Anything you want. I'll stay as long as you want. [And he will. Even if he gets hungry or something. She needs to know she's not alone and after missing her for so long it's just good to have her close again and not down in some room full of tanks of people or whatever it was like. He didn't hear much of a description, but he didn't like what he did hear and she deserves so much better than that. And so much better than this. The people she loves should always be there for her.]

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trappedinresin
2016-04-18 11:09 am UTC (link)

[It's all she wants right now. There's really no other words, but none are needed. Talking about it is painful, and only redoubles her tears and anguish. Instead, she just wants to take comfort in the one presence here with her. Listening to the sound of his heartbeat, feeling the warmth of his body as he comforts her-- it's all tangible.

She stays like that, crying into his chest for however long he'll let her. Until she even succumbs to sleep and exhaustion, if he doesn't rouse her before then.]

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	demon_king 2016-04-20 05:06 am UTC (link)
	[Yuuri is just going to keep holding on even long past when she falls asleep. Eventually he just closes his eyes too. There's no hurry here and if it helps even the smallest bit then it's worth doing.] (Reply to this) (Parent)

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