InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "i don't do kissing."

princess leia organa of alderaan (forceful) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2016-01-13 13:13:00

Entry tags:

elena gilbert (au), leia organa, spencer reid

DAY 358 ★ ACTION, CLOSED TO REID & ELENA

[ leia doesn't stop. once she's out the door of the squeeze, she heads directly for the next sector. she knows that spencer lives in sector three's apartments, but she doesn't know which apartment — but she doesn't need to. it's easy to seek out and find his distinct presence once she's on the grounds of the complex. she follows it until it leads her to his door.

she takes a moment to school her expression, expertly pulling back her rage and replacing it with something much more neutral. whether her mask will work on a criminal profiler is up for debate, but leia can't bring herself to care.

raising her hand, she knocks on the door. ]

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thisiscalm
2016-01-13 10:11 pm UTC (link)

[ Of all the things that could've come in response to that question, this was at the very bottom of it. Not that he doesn't think her capable but he can't think of a single thing he's done to deserve it. The punch hits clean and square, taking him by surprise and sending him stumbling back from pain and shock.

Shit. Ow. What did Jack do in his body? ]

What the hell!

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forceful
2016-01-14 12:01 pm UTC (link)

[ leia lets herself in, breezing past him and shutting the door behind her without so much as touching it. ]

Did you think I wouldn't find out? Were you ever going to tell me? You know, for a while there, I didn't think it was the same for you. All these Earths are different in some way. And then that ex told me something and suddenly everything started to make sense.

I'm fictional. I'm nothing more than a character in one of your holofilms. Star Wars, was it? Isn't that what it's called?

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thisiscalm
2016-01-14 09:35 pm UTC (link)

[ And just like that, the pain of her punch dies down into nothing, drowns in an ocean of ice cold realization. She found out. Up until this exactly moment he thought this was the less harmful way but he couldn't have been more wrong, couldn't have fucked up in a greater way. Of course she found out. Of course she's furious. ]

...What did she tell you?

[ He's not denying it but good heavens at least let him do some damage control first. How absolutely fucked is he? ]

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	forceful 2016-01-15 12:45 am UTC (link)
	[ she almost — almost responds with a juvenile "wouldn't you like to know." ] All about your sick, twisted fantasy. Me, in nothing but a metal and mostly not there slave girl's outfit and how she wore it for you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2016-01-15 12:53 am UTC (link)
	[ You don't need to be force sensitive to see how that affects him. Of course it was that. The color drains from his face, confusion and dread replaced by sheer terror. This is, quite possibly, as bad as it could ever get. ] That wasn't... [ He swallows. Feels sick. ] That wasn't my idea. I didn't encourage it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

forceful
2016-01-15 01:10 am UTC (link)

It wasn't my idea, either!

[ did it matter if it hadn't? maybe. context was important, and maybe kitty had even said as much, but leia can't see past the red hot haze of the anger to remember if she did or not. he still lied to her. he had information on her life from these works of fiction, and he didn't tell her. for all she knows, he used that knowledge to get close to her, to make her— ]

Regardless of whether you encouraged it or not, it still happened, and someone — you or someone else — thought that outfit was appropriate for... [ the face she makes is full of revulsion, and she lifts a hand to flick a dismissive wrist at him, turning away. ] I am so disgusted right now, I can't see straight.

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thisiscalm
2016-01-15 08:09 am UTC (link)

[ He's quiet for a moment, absentmindedly rubbing the spot where she hit him. Usually so good under pressure but that's always a temporary fix and then you move on to the next temporary fix. If people hate you for it, that's just part of the job but this isn't a job and he can't stand the idea of her hating him for this. Screw getting together in a romantic fashion, that was a bad idea from the beginning but these past few weeks when he's had her to talk to he actually felt for the first time in a long while like he was going to be okay.

He's not okay. None of this is okay. ]

I'm sorry. [ Quietly. ] If you hate me for this, then... I don't know. You have every right to. I'm not going to try and convince you otherwise.

[ He has more to say, plenty of apologies and explanations and a few attempts at making this right but he doesn't want to get into all that unless he knows she's willing to at least hear him out. ]

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forceful
2016-01-15 02:00 pm UTC (link)

[ leia doesn't trust him. not anymore. whatever trust he'd built up with her over the past month is gone, shattered by the truth of the knowledge he possessed, of what he was withholding from her. of what he did. but the force is telling her otherwise, and hates — hates that she has any measure of faith in it, that she can understand that it's telling her he's being sincere. ]

You obviously have something more to say. Say it.

[ arms crossed, features set into a seemingly permanent scowl. ]

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thisiscalm
2016-01-15 02:35 pm UTC (link)

[ Yeah, that's not incredibly intimidating. This is a guy who's stared down more gun barrels than he can count, that put his life on the line without even really thinking about it, who's literally talked himself out of certain death on more than one occasion — and this is where he's too terrified to function.

Okay. Deep breaths, profiler. You got this. ]

You're right. There is a trilogy of movies called Star Wars in my world and yes, Princess Leia is starring in them. Maybe I should've told you that from the beginning but... what do you honestly expect me to have said?

When I arrived here, one of the first people who talked to me was Threepio. Do you have any idea what that's like? When you're... you're a kid and these movies — even though you know they're entirely made up it makes you feel like maybe you'll be okay, maybe there really is something out there that'll make it all worth it. When you're alone with no friends and a sick mom and no dad and you have no one to turn to but this... this fictional universe allows you to forget about that for a couple of hours. It makes the world less impossible to bear.

So no, I didn't tell you... but I didn't tell anyone else either. You're far from the only one here who bears a striking resemblance to the characters I loved growing up. I didn't tell any of them and maybe that was wrong but would it have been better to tell the truth? Tell me, because I honestly don't know anymore.

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forceful
2016-01-15 03:45 pm UTC (link)

[ there's a brief window of almost fond exasperation in her anger, leia rolling her eyes to the sky and shaking her head. of course it was threepio. of course the lone representative from her world when reid first found himself here was her overtly verbose protocol droid. ]

I can't speak for others, but I would have liked to have known the truth from the start. Elena told me; and while I'm not entirely comfortable with someone — anyone — having insight into my life, especially my personal life. But you know what I also am? Used to it. I've had cam droids following me and paparazzi waving holocameras in my face since I was a child. There are holofilms out there already about my life, with two-bit actresses doing a poor job of portraying me in any way that resembles reality.

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thisiscalm
2016-01-15 03:52 pm UTC (link)

Maybe you are, but that's not really a risk I feel comfortable taking. At best, I'll come off as a crazy person who definitely won't have any chance of getting to know the people I idolized as a child. At worst? Those people might not be as cool as you are about being told they're not real.

[ Which, as a profiler, is kind of a big deal. He's dealing with enough people who have a frail grasp on reality. He'd rather not be a contributing factor. ]

I messed up. I get that, but... can you at least understand where I'm coming from?

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whoop, sorry for that one hanging sentence. consequences of tagging between classes...

forceful
2016-01-15 04:26 pm UTC (link)

I can also tell when you're being truthful or not, and I really hate that I have to pay attention to that now.

[ she wasn't before. with trust in place, there was no reason for her to doubt his words and focus her concentration on how they felt when he said them. and she can understand where he's coming from to a degree, but that still doesn't explain that outfit jabba's people forced her into or what happened at quinn's party. ]

Is that why you kissed me; because you idolize me?

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	thisiscalm 2016-01-15 04:30 pm UTC (link)
	No. [ The answer is immediate, without hesitation. ] That might've been why I started talking to you when you arrived but everything else... I was trying to get to know you. I can tell the difference between fiction and reality, Leia. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	forceful 2016-01-15 10:41 pm UTC (link)
	Lucky me. I get to be a real girl now, not just some digitized fantasy that dances across a screen. [ the sarcasm is strong with this one. if reid's seen the prequels, he might see shades of anakin skywalker blossoming in her while she hides behind snark and a narrowed gaze instead of saying what's really on her mind. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2016-01-15 10:46 pm UTC (link)

[ He has seen them. He did not care for them, sorry to say.

Something she may not have realized about him is that he does have a temper underneath that sweatervest, one that is flaring pretty bad right now. Sure, she has every right to be mad at him but blaming him for the existence of Star Wars? That's taking it too far. ]

What do you want me to say? You want me to apologize for watching a movie twenty years ago and not taking your feelings into consideration? I didn't make it! You can be mad at me for a lot of things but c'mon!

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forceful
2016-01-15 11:11 pm UTC (link)

[ she can feel it flaring up against her senses, but all it seems to do is fan the flames of her own. ]

You think I'm mad at you over that holofilm even existing? I don't care about the stang thing! Let it exist. It can join the dozens of others my galaxy has already produced. I care about you not telling me the truth. I care about thinking I made a friend who was actually going to be upfront and honest with me for once, who didn't start talking to me because I was the princess of some fallen world!

[ honesty was a karking illusion. everybody lies. she is so over people lying in the name of protecting her. ]

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thisiscalm
2016-01-15 11:13 pm UTC (link)

Fine! Is that what you want? Ask me anything. Anything at all, from now until... until one or both of us leave here.

[ Honesty isn't that hard for him, but openness is. His private life is private even for his closest friends. Offering this makes his stomach twist with anxiety, buffing up against the raging anger in his chest. ]

You'll be able to tell if I'm lying, right? So ask me.

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forceful
2016-01-16 06:50 pm UTC (link)

[ openness is something the princess struggles with as well. she's blunt to a fault, but as closed off as a heavily fortified citadel. leia's heart is guarded, but before she learned any of this, he was beginning to worm his way in. as a friend or more, she can't say, but she thought she made a real connection with someone, and now it feels so... false. knowing what he knows without telling her about it makes her feel betrayed and even a little seduced. ]

Kitty, [ she says, getting straight to the point. ] Was it or was it not your idea for her to... dress up as me?

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thisiscalm
2016-01-16 06:55 pm UTC (link)

It wasn't my idea. [ He says it slowly, deliberately, enunciating each word with care. This is important. ]

I would never have suggested it. Never.

[ And sure, when he was much younger he saw her slave outfit the way most men see it — something sensual, attractive, something to fuel puberty-wrecked minds. That was a long time ago, when he was too young to fully understand the context surrounding it. Before he started spending his days solving the murders of women in similar situations to hers. ]

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forceful
2016-01-16 07:20 pm UTC (link)

[ she strains her untrained senses, listening and paying close attention to the emotion behind each word. his sincerity is something of a relief, but she still doesn't understand why such a thing even happened in the first place. ]

So, it was someone else's. She didn't know who I was until I mentioned Jabba, so clearly her fictional knowledge is lacking.

[ leia doesn't know which is more appalling: the notion that reid suggested it to kitty himself or that someone else thought it would be a good idea for her to dress up like that for him. it's abhorring either way. ]

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	thisiscalm 2016-01-16 07:30 pm UTC (link)
	We're not from the same world. I don't know how many others there are here that would recognize you. [ A fair few, he'd guess. It's comforting. At least he's not the only one who hasn't said anything. ] What else? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	forceful 2016-01-16 07:34 pm UTC (link)
	[ she'll find that out for herself. don't be surprised if you see her inquiring on the network about that later. ] Did you like it? What she— What she wore for you? [ if he got any sense of enjoyment out of seeing kitty in that thing, she may take another swing at him. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2016-01-16 07:38 pm UTC (link)
	No. There was nothing good about that. [ There's almost amusement-but-not-amusement in his voice at the sheer absurdity of that night. ] ...Do you believe me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

forceful
2016-01-16 07:44 pm UTC (link)

[ again, his words ring with nothing but genuine sincerity.

leia nods, lifting a hand with the fingers curled in against her palm to press her knuckles to her lips. she believes him, but it's going to eat at her for a long time to come that someone did that at all. that there are people out there who find the situation she was in to be sexually appealing. some sort of fantasy worth reliving.

it's a nightmare she doesn't at all appreciate reliving by having repressed, ignored recollections flash before her eyes. ]

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thisiscalm
2016-01-16 07:47 pm UTC (link)

[ He wants to step closer and hug her, but he's pretty sure that she wouldn't approve of it so instead he shifts his weight, uneasy. If she'd only found out about the movies this might not be so bad but the gold bikini is a whole 'nother can of worms. He's going to have to find Kitty and... do something. What, he doesn't know.

Swallowing sharply, he glances at her. ]

I am sorry... this is not how you should've found out. Not- about that. [ He'd give a lot for her to never have found out about that. ] About everything else.