[She tilts her head thoughtfully, blinking a few times and listening carefully. That sounds very sad. She cannot identify exactly with all of it, but she can understand it more than most people here would be able to.] I did not want to hurt people, but I was programmed to exterminate Shadows at all cost. That was all that mattered to me. I had no other feelings or priorities. I was created to fight them. I had companions, people I fought alongside, but my consideration of them as friends was based on that ability to fight efficiently together, not on our bonds or personalities. I did something very terrible to one of them when they were very young. The one buried here. It is likely my actions doomed them, but I had no regrets about it because it created the best possible outcome of a battle. Once someone I trusted reprogrammed me and made me hurt my friends. I regret it more now than I was able to then because I did not have to emotions to properly react to it later. It was simply an event that took place and was resolved.
I only started feeling things a few months when I began to have to make choices that conflicted with my programming. I was damaged very badly in battle as well. Perhaps something was changed in me while I was repaired. Immidately after that I lost the person most precious to me. It was very hard to feel things after that. I do not think it is at all identical to your experiences but yes, I believe I can imagine all those things very well.