[What she notes first and foremost is not the priority of self-preservation-- no, people like them are supposed to put themselves first-- but how he neglects to reveal what he though of the time. And no answer is an answer all on its own in this case. But.. definitely not the one she wanted... or needed to hear in order to desire repair between them. Her eyes drop away from him slowly, before all the dashed hopes bleed out fully across her face, her carefully constructed mask of restraint she's held up around him since his own facade had started to fall apart dissolving for the first time . As much as she's regretting letting it show, and valiantly trying to scrape together some composure before the end of this, part of her wonders what the point is; he's already seen her at her most vulnerable before, so what more can she really lose to him anyways?
She turns around to face back towards the hall so suddenly that her hair whips about, acting as an effective curtain, arms straight at her sides and fists balled up so tightly her nails are cutting into her palms by this point. But when she finally speaks up again, it's with a voice so even and casual you couldn't expect it, and barely falters as she goes... though does get faintly pitched at parts]
Then, it might as well be my turn. I've held back things from you too, L-- Hei. A name, because of preference; and the truth about the previous dome I intended to share eventually, but didn't because I hesitated for too long. Because I was afraid.
That day we started the rebellion, you had said you had a reason to stay. So I started to think maybe you were happy here, in a way, and you were the first person I checked on below, the first person I wanted to discuss it with after it all settled down. But those reflections made me think twice. I couldn't do it in the end-- I didn't want to say anything that could rip up the foundations of the life you'd made. I really wanted the boy that could be so kind to someone like me to be as happy he could be in a place like this.
Even so much that, if you had just mentioned it before... [Before she started to realize what she considered him... Or before she simply discovered the license on her own, even, because she would have pushed down whatever she felt herself, smiled and--] I would have wished for you to be happy together with them, too.
[A deep exhale leaves her after the heavy moment she ended on, she feels it far more than hears it. And that's all she has in her; with nothing left to give or handle hearing more from him, there's no reason to not return to the hall and do what she planned to. So she does just that, and if he tries to stop her... well, she might be spent emotionally, but physically is another matter]