[ private ]
Well, I suppose that's true: she's still not dead, despite how much she claimed she should be. [Which, even though she's coming off rather caustic and flippant right now, has had her admittedly confused. She would have attributed such a change of heart to Saya accepting herself, except she clearly hasn't done that...]
...Battles that you think you can take your time on can also be the ones you lose.