Yeah. I figured I'd kill myself so no one else'd get killed later.
[Talking about suicide is easier than talking about thinking about killing people. In fact, Nathan takes this pause to roll up a sleeve, unwind some of the (less-than-white now, thank you, passage of time) gauze, and peel off one of the pads covering the stitched-up vertical cuts. They're four days old, but the skin's red and angry around the stitches. It hasn't, of course, occurred to Nathan to redress the cuts.