:: action
[ she shakes her head at his question, having hoped her explanation would have answered this already. perhaps she can't blame him for wanting to hear a direct response rather than the roundabout one she'd given and despite her worries, she has the decency to meet his gaze when she does answer. he needs to know that she's being sincere with this, that means everything she's saying. ] Our relationship ended in the 1940's. Any feelings I had for him were buried with it and in my time... he's gone. [ he's dead, she means. ] He is my best friend. Nothing more.
[ but that's not the end of it and she draws in a breath to continue. jean-luc deserves to hear this, deserves to know how she feels about him, even though it will be difficult for her to put into words. he needs to have her lay it all out for him and she hopes that in doing so, he might be able to lay his feelings out for her in return. ]
I haven't had a chance to develop a relationship with anyone in so long. I've kept to myself for 113 years. But then I arrived here and on that very first day, I met you and something changed. [ she's desperate for love and affection of the kind only he can give her, if he truly feels that way towards her and wants what she does. ] My feelings now are for you and they have been since we met. I wouldn't have kissed you that night in the clinic if I felt love for another, whether or not he was here to know about it. I would never do that to you.
[ she purses her lips together, holding herself to this talk even though she would much rather run from it. if they were back on earth, she would've dropped this budding relationship where it started out of a fear that she wouldn't have time or energy to devote to it... and with the knowledge that she would lose him. she knows she only has a limited amount of time with him, but at this point they don't know whether death or escape will come first and in that case... wouldn't it be better to try this? that rationale doesn't make actually putting words to her emotions any easier. ]
If you need to know where my heart lies now... it lies with you. [ she takes another breath and forces herself to put exact words to something she's been avoiding even admitting to herself. ] I am very much in love with you, Jean-Luc. What you do with that knowledge is your choice. At this point, I've no idea how you feel towards me and I would never force you into anything if you didn't want it.
[ she's beginning to suspect how he feels towards her, but like him she wants to hear those feelings put to words. ]