Alright... don't say I didn't warn you. [ Deep breath. ] You wear your machismo and your attitude as protection, because you're afraid of letting anyone see how you really are. Not just because you want to portray yourself as a strong protector, but also because the less they know the less it'll hurt when they betray you. If they knew what you were really like, they'd treat you differently and that scares you.
You did... boxing? Wrestling? Some kind of defensive contact sport, as physical protection but it's just as much emotional and mental. You've been hurt too many times and so you push before anyone has a chance to push you first. You attack, maybe to see who bothers to stay through it because when it comes down to it you want them to see through you. You go on the defense and then you get upset when people call you defensive — like when we first started talking. You want people to understand you, to give you the chance you deserve to prove what kind of person you really are, but you also believe you've given enough chances. It builds for a situation where you're better off keeping everyone at arm's length.