InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "you make my heart go boom boom"

Dirk Strider (smuppeteer) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-09-25 12:21:00

Entry tags:

calliope-caliborn, data, dirk strider, jake english, peggy carter, roxy lalonde

Day 238 | Closed voice/Open action
[ As shitty as Dirk feels, he really doesn't like spending so much time by himself. It would have been fine, once upon a time, but now after having gotten used to interacting with his friends 24/7 (24/10? Marina seems to operate with ten-day weeks, he thinks, if the school schedule is anything to go by) it just makes him frustrated to be by himself.

So after having spent maybe 18 hours shut up alone in a random apartment he picked out after therapy ended, he decides he needs to hang out with someone. Not Jake, though. Not Roxy, either. He likes Dave, but he can only imagine how Dave feels about him, having been raised by his Alternate Douchebag Self. Aradia would be a good choice, but she was there at that session the day before when Dirk went off on himself. Ugh, why did he even do that. Fuck fuck fuck. Not Helix, he keeps getting existential around Helix and he's sick of getting existential.

So that leaves the cherubs, who frankly he should have decided on from the start, because hey, he's been friends with Calliope even longer than Jane or Jake, and Caliborn's always good for a laugh. ]

[ Voice / Filtered to the cherubs / Early afternoon ]

Hey.

[ Action / Open / Late evening ]

[ Sometime after he and Calliope get done hanging out, he decides to go for a walk. It's evening, there shouldn't be too many people milling about. Get some fresh air. Yeah, that's a good plan. ]

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	smuppeteer 2013-09-27 12:31 am UTC (link)
	[ Dirk takes one great big step backward, flash-stepping about ten feet away from Jake. He keeps his hands in his pocket, left hand tightly gripping the skull ring Jake gave him for his birthday. He hasn't been wearing it. ] Is it actually urgent? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	skulltop 2013-09-27 12:33 am UTC (link)
	[Jake takes several quick, long-legged steps forward, a bit frustrated with Dirk's goddamned speed.] Of course! The matter between us is extremely urgent, I'd say! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smuppeteer 2013-09-27 12:36 am UTC (link)
	...okay, just... just quit following me, and get that goddamn look off your face. Go ahead and talk. [ Dirk's breath is coming shallowly. He doesn't want to do this. He can't face Jake. But he also doesn't want Jake to crumple up and burst into tears again. Not when everything it actually Dirk's fault. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	skulltop 2013-09-27 01:01 pm UTC (link)
	[Jake isn't sure what look Dirk means. Therefore, it doesn't get off his face.] I still don't quite understand. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smuppeteer 2013-09-27 05:38 pm UTC (link)
	[ Ugh, Jake, why. It literally hurts to see you looking like that. ] I've got five months worth of extra memories crammed into my skull, Jake. A lot of stuff happened. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	skulltop 2013-09-27 09:26 pm UTC (link)
	We're not going anyway. I wager I'll be able to sit through the story all right... if you'd just tell me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smuppeteer 2013-09-27 09:28 pm UTC (link)
	[ He swallows and looks away. It hurts. ] I really don't want to talk about it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	skulltop 2013-09-27 10:33 pm UTC (link)
	[Jake is quiet for a while.] You don't have to hate yourself, Dirk. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smuppeteer 2013-09-27 10:37 pm UTC (link)
	[ He freezes up and just stares at the ground. Jake wasn't there at the fucking self-hate group, was he? Well, what does it matter? Dirk made a total fool of himself in front of who knows how many people. He wouldn't be surprised if word spread. He clenches his fists and grits his teeth. ] You don't know what you're talking about. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	skulltop 2013-09-27 11:39 pm UTC (link)
	W-well. [Okay, he thought he knew what he was talking about. But Dirk seems so sure? And...it looks like he's getting angry again.] If that is the case, you couldn't be further from the truth!!! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smuppeteer 2013-09-28 12:03 am UTC (link)
	...how so? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

skulltop
2013-09-29 01:26 am UTC (link)

A lot of reasons, that's how!

[He's a little embarrassed to admit all this, but if it helps Dirk...]

You're the smartest guy I know, Dirk- and that may not say much all things considered, I truly don't know a lot of people, but you're a genius all the same. You and Roxy, you both swim circles around me any given day of the week. [A laugh.] A little island boy like me couldn't dream to do some of the things you've done. You live in a post-apocalyptic society! You've raised yourself since you were young... I had my grandma with me until I was old enough to walk and talk. It's astonishing! Don't know another soul able to accomplish that. I think they'd sooner die than change their own diaper.

But your achievements aside, Dirk-- you're the best friend I've ever had. We're best bro... or, er. We were. I miss that a lot, even if... it's only been a day. You may act all aloof and whatnot, but you always did care about us. That's why you sent Brobot, why you do all your crazy backwards behind-the-curtains bullshit, why you're always making darn sure I know what I'm doing even though I screw up so often. You're always beyond patient with me, though. And I never did tell you how much I appreciate it. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend.

[A painful pause.]

Er.

Ex-boyfriend.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

smuppeteer
2013-09-29 01:35 am UTC (link)

[ Dirk just stares up at Jake helplessly as he enumerates all of these things. No. Fuck no. Stop talking. Ugh. By the time he's finished, Dirk is clutching the sides of his head as if he's in pain. ]

Sure would have liked to hear something like that one of those times you ditched me for a week-plus without fucking saying anything!

[ No, he wouldn't have liked to hear it. He can't handle hearing that. It's not true. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	skulltop 2013-09-29 01:50 am UTC (link)
	[Jake, of course, doesn't remember that. But he supposes he must have- and he winces.] I'm... sorry, Dirk. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smuppeteer 2013-09-29 01:55 am UTC (link)
	...fuck. [ But of course it was to be expected that Jake didn't want to spend time with him, what with how overbearing Dirk was. He isn't even being fair now, even though this Jake right here hasn't experienced any of those things. He finds a tree to lean back against emo-ly, and tugs at his hair in frustration. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	skulltop 2013-09-29 02:02 am UTC (link)
	I'll um. I guess I should leave you alone, then. [He scuffs his shoe against the ground.] You know where to find me? [Then he turns tail and RUNS.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	smuppeteer 2013-09-29 02:05 am UTC (link)
	I-- [ Great. Look what you did, Dirk. He slides down to the ground and buries his face in his knees. Way to go. ] (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -