I don't think those feelings are so out of the ordinary. Resenting people for having what you don't sounds very normal to me. [In fact, some would argue it was the cause of the wars in her world and certainly the foundation for the anti-Coordinator terrorist group, Blue Cosmos. Some of her dearest, most wonderful friends back home carry such bitterness about aspects their lives.] And it doesn't make you a bad person.
If you want to be different, then you can find a way. I know you will, and I'll help you do it.