InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "don't blink"

helen magnus, m.d. d.t.c.x.b. (lifelines) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-09-08 00:26:00

Entry tags:

damon salvatore, helen magnus, peggy carter, rebekah mikealson, rose

day 235 | action; ota | locked voice;
[ day 235 begins early and ends late. it's obvious to anyone who runs across her that she hasn't slept well. she's kept herself up or something did and now she's got a lot on her mind. she does make an attempt to keep to her normal schedule and can be found at the clinic for a good part of the day. towards mid-afternoon, she gives up that idea, after having found herself lost in thought for the tenth time that hour. she looks for martha to let her know that she's leaving early and not to take her temperature. the last thing she wants is for someone to think she's fallen ill, though she wouldn't blame them if they did.

after that, she wanders the dome. the library, the parks, the beach, and the athletic complex are all fair game for her stops. at the end of the time normally considered early evening, she finally turns to her communicator and sends a private voice communication to rebekah. ]

You wouldn't happen to know where to get a good bottle of wine or two, would you?

[ it's completely another request to talk with her friend, because she really needs to work some things out and if anyone can help her sort out her thoughts, it's rebekah. ]

( ooc: she can be found literally anywhere in the dome or in the morning / early afternoon hours at the clinic! )

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lifelines
2013-09-11 12:48 am UTC (link)

[ sadly, it's likely not the topic rebekah is expecting. helen is actually fidgeting with the stem of her wine glass a little as she sips. ]

About someone who was very important to me once, someone I have yet to even tell you about. [ because the topic of ashley is so difficult for her. ] I barely even recall how it came up. I asked him to come visit me and we began to talk.

[ one more tug should pull the full answer out of her. ]

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	easily 2013-09-11 03:42 am UTC (link)
	[Oh. A little disappointing. Oh well, she'll cope.] Are you going to tell me who this person is or continue to speak vaguely? [Probably not the most delicate way to put things but Rebekah is hardly delicate.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifelines
2013-09-11 10:35 am UTC (link)

[ oh she'll get to that other topic. eventually. after she turns everything over and explains ashley to rebekah.

obviously whatever this is is a difficult topic for her. she turns her wine glass around and takes a sip before she answers. ]

My daughter. Her name was Ashley. [ "was" meaning she's no longer alive. ] Somehow we got on that topic, of all things. [ she knows how, but that isn't her story to tell, so she's breezing by it. ] So now he knows about her.

[ and she's getting around to explaining why she doesn't seem so happy to be talking about her child, a strange thing for a mother. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easily 2013-09-11 05:59 pm UTC (link)
	[Rebekah knows those sorts of was. Henrik was her brother. So was Finn. And Kol.] I didn't know you had a daughter. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifelines
2013-09-11 06:50 pm UTC (link)

[ and for the first time, helen glances over to rebekah to meet her friend's gaze with a sorrowful one of her own. ]

If you believed yourself responsible for the death of one of the most important people in your life, would you walk around talking about them for all to hear?

[ it's both rhetorical and serious. but it also helps explain why she has attachment and abandonment issues. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easily 2013-09-11 06:59 pm UTC (link)
	No, I suppose not. I don't tend to talk about the deaths at all. [Finn's death -- and then Kol's. If she had not been so insistent about the cure, so determined, perhaps Kol would still be alive. She remembers how cruel his ghost had been, as if she had never cared about her brother at all.] What happened to her? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifelines
2013-09-11 07:56 pm UTC (link)

[ the million-dollar question that's so difficult to answer. helen takes a sip of her wine and leans her head back against the back of the couch. her talk with jean-luc brought up memories she'd been trying her hardest to keep buried. and now she's revisiting that discussion with the person who's become something of her best friend here. ]

It's a long story. Suffice it to say she was kidnapped by an organization known as the Cabal. They took her, genetically altered her, and then mindcontrolled her. As far as I'm aware, they used her newly reconstructed genetic sequence and the Abnormalities they unlocked and coded into her as the blueprint for five others. We called them Super-Abnormals for the abilities they displayed.

[ she's speaking in a very clinical tone, as that's far easier than the half-sobbing mess she'd been last night with jean-luc. ]

Their goal was the destruction of everything I had built, the Sanctuary Network itself. And I believe I was to be their crown jewel. My death would mean the Cabal had won.

[ but that hadn't happened, as her presence here in the dome would suggest. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easily 2013-09-11 08:39 pm UTC (link)
	And let me guess, they assigned her to try to kill you? [Children killing their parents, it's biblical in it's way. Of course, Rebekah's brother did kill their mother...and their father too but they were the ones to make them monsters in the first place and it's all very complicated honestly.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifelines
2013-09-11 08:50 pm UTC (link)

Got it in one. At the last second, we got her back. She was herself long enough to stop someone else from trying to harm me... And then she killed both herself and the other Super-Abnormal.

[ she likes to think ashley did it because there was no other alternative, no way to be sure the cabal would never be able to retake control over her, and helen's only consolation over the whole thing is that ashley's death was of her own doing. those last moments of her life were her own and no one else's. ]

Just prior to that explanation, I had... [ ohgod how does she even begin to explain that? she can feel her cheeks reddening slightly. ] I had hugged him and we were holding each other during the entire time I explained about Ashley.

[ if her cheeks are anything to go by, there's more to that than she's saying. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easily 2013-09-11 09:30 pm UTC (link)
	[Rebekah listens carefully, hearing the pain in the other woman's voice. It's an impulse, one that's still a little foreign to her, that causes her to reach out to squeeze Helen's hand.] At least he was able to support you while you told the story to him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifelines 2013-09-12 12:34 pm UTC (link)
	[ foreign impulse or not, it's appreciated and helen offers a small smile in gratitude as she returns the squeeze. ] It wasn't originally intended as such and it certainly brought me face-to-face with how I feel towards him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easily 2013-09-13 02:24 am UTC (link)
	Did you tell him? [How she feels, that is.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifelines 2013-09-13 02:02 pm UTC (link)
	Not exactly, but if kissing him didn't tell him, I don't know what will. [ yeah uh... she kissed him last night. y e p ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easily 2013-09-13 09:31 pm UTC (link)
	[Rebekah grins at that.] You kissed him? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifelines 2013-09-13 09:41 pm UTC (link)
	[ helen just purses her lips for a moment and nods before taking a long sip of her drink. ] And judging by the way he responded, I'd say he didn't entirely mind. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easily 2013-09-14 02:23 am UTC (link)
	[Rebekah grins proudly at that.] Well done. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifelines 2013-09-14 07:03 pm UTC (link)
	I'll have you know it's your fault. [ she gives rebekah a side-long smirk from over the rim of her wine glass. ] I was thinking... perhaps you're right. It's been so long since I've felt this strongly for anyone. Perhaps it's worth trying. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easily 2013-09-15 03:21 am UTC (link)
	I will gladly take the blame in this scenario. [It's not often someone actually compliments Rebekah on her theories on love.] You seem happy talking about it, that's a good sign. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifelines
2013-09-15 08:07 am UTC (link)

Or perhaps I've simply grown very good at hiding my fear.

[ which, coming from her, is admitting a lot. it's that fear holding her back, preventing her from telling jean-luc her whole story. she knows she needs to someday, that he deserves to know what he'll be getting into if he wants to actually pursue something with her. she's a hot mess of complicated emotions and she knows it. ]

But I suppose it's a little late to back out now. This place is hardly suited for avoiding someone. It's large, but not nearly large enough for that.

[ so she's hoping with everything she has that this turns out well. otherwise, they'll have a hell of a time dealing with the fallout. ]

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	easily 2013-09-15 02:45 pm UTC (link)
	It is a small dome, all things considered. Makes it difficult to hide things. [Rebekah speaks from experience, having been walked in on kissing Matt earlier the same day.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifelines
2013-09-15 10:56 pm UTC (link)

It does. Otherwise I would have cut this off when it began. At home, there wasn't time for this sort of... thing. [ whatever they're calling the relationship between herself and jean-luc. is he her gentleman friend yet? no. they aren't exactly seeing each other yet. they're just. friends. friends who have kissed rather passionately. ] I only had time for lovers, not... anything more. And yet I want that with him.

[ is it so wrong that she wants more with jean-luc? is it wrong that she might actually--

dear god, she can feel her heart flip over in both fear and anticipation at that half-formed thought. she hasn't considered that word in over a century, almost two. not since james. ]

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easily
2013-09-16 06:14 am UTC (link)

You do know about the deal with sex here though, right? You have to get licenses for it, otherwise you get black banded for it, it gets broadcasted as a crime, nasty business.

[She remembers it happening to Caroline and Stefan, how it could have happened to her and Matt that night too if they hadn't stopped where they did.]

But I think this place...it gives us a lot of opportunities for things we never had a chance for back home.

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lifelines
2013-09-16 12:28 pm UTC (link)

[ helen's cheeks are not turning red, rebekah. that's your imagination. her personal life isn't something she usually talks about. in that, she's a very private woman, almost too victorian to function. ]

I did recall hearing about that and I wasn't planning on doing anything like that until we'd... talked it out and gotten the license for it, if we ever agreed to taking that step. I'd rather have my dignity intact and my personal life private.

[ she's now focusing entirely on her wine glass, turning it around in her fingers before finally pouring a second glass. ]

I agree... I just never thought this would be one of them.

[ she does glance at rebekah, wondering if there's more to that statement. ]

You know, we've been so focused on my difficulties, I haven't thought to ask how you're doing.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	easily 2013-09-16 07:19 pm UTC (link)
	Just making sure. Nothing worse than seeing someone learn the hard way. [Even if it's sometimes kind of funny because deep down Rebekah is still kind of a terrible person. Rebekah blinks a little as the woman squares the attention back on her. Honestly, it's been easier to just focus on Helen's issues, a nice break from her own.] Alright, I suppose. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifelines 2013-09-16 07:45 pm UTC (link)
	It's much appreciated. I can't imagine what it would be like to find out that way. [ she studies her friend. ] You're certain? I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't ask. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)