We didn't know it for a long time. A friend and I, because of our work with the London Sanctuary, were out doing our own detective work. Every night we would return home to tell John what had happened. It was so frustrating a case due to the nature of it, how we couldn't tip off Scotland Yard because of our suspicions that the culprit was an Abnormal and how the killer was evading even our detection. We never dreamed that the man we were spilling our hearts to was the killer himself.
[ and oh how her heart had broken when she had found out. helen can still recall how devastated she had been at that discovery, how frightened she had been to know that she could have been a victim herself if not for john's insatiable obsession with her. survivor's guilt plagued her even then. she could have stopped it, she could have changed him back, if only she had figured it out sooner.
but she hadn't. and john was forever lost to her. ]
Needless to say, I broke off the engagement. I don't think he ever truly accepted why I could no longer love him. He followed me around off and on for a century like a lost puppy. [ her voice has changed from sorrow to scorn, a telling sound in and of itself. ] He was the reason I jumped backwards in time. What he wanted was to go back to 1886, to prevent us from ever taking the Source Blood, so we would remain engaged and he could have me for his own. When he realized that wasn't possible, he came to me to stop it.
[ and how her blood boils at the thought that he didn't love the woman she had become enough to change for her, to accept her as she is rather than the woman he had once loved so very much. ]
He never changed, Rebekah. He never understood why I couldn't love him, why giving in to those darker impulses only made me more angry. That's why I'm willing to help you, to be your friend. Perhaps you've done things you regret, things someone else might not be able to forgive. The important thing is that you care enough to try. You want to be a better person. And so you are.
[ and after everything she's been through with john, is it any wonder why she's so afraid of what she has with jean-luc? ]