[ fortunately, helen isn't nearly as bad as niklaus and if she ever met him, she would be glad that she is not. bitter she may be; cruel and paranoid she certainly is not. there's a part of her that craves social contact and the chance to be close to someone and it's that part that starts chipping away at her walls as rebekah speaks.
halfway through, she turns to give rebekah a confused and curious look, her expression turning over itself the longer she stands here. this is the most honest and open they've been with each other, the most helen has openly stated to anyone here. not even nikola pulled this much out of her. oh he knew, but that was because he could read her like a book. not even rose and jean-luc have gotten quite this much out of her. if the latter had, he might not be so willing to see her again, as he had requested two days ago.
her situation and rebekah's might not be exactly the same, but she has to admit they are similar. the comment about matt and children makes her sigh softly and close her eyes for a moment, her head ducking to hide the memories of her own family, the fiance who had turned into a serial killer and their daughter who had become an unwilling genetic experiment and then died to save her mother's life.
but no one knows about those people here. no one needs to yet. helen knows well that sometime in the future jean-luc will need to hear about all of that, to better understand the woman he's coming to know, but that is not now. perhaps later, once she's more certain he can handle the knowledge, but not now. ]
I don't even know if he returns those feelings. [ okay, she's finally admitting it. she fancies jean-luc picard. her feelings for him are strong, but she has no idea how he feels about her. this might be a one-sided thing and if that's the case, it would be far better for her to walk out now. ] I know he at least wants to keep up a close friendship. We had tea together the other day and he requested to see me again. I've no idea when we might see each other again, but I know we will.
[ she gives a slight shrug and sighs again, glancing back up at rebekah. ] Even if nothing comes of it, he has already become my third. [ the third person she has fallen for like this, the third she has come to love. if that's what this is. she cares for him in a romantic fashion and she's certainly not had many of those. only three romantic situations with true feelings involved, not just "friends with benefits," as it were. ]