[smh, dave. there is literally nothing cool about you now, especially since the manbeast behind you is getting his toasty warm cuddles on.
at least bro is considerate (and deterred by the kicking legs) enough to stop mouthbreathing all over dave. he snorts a laugh that ruffles the top of dave's hair like a cute pony or a weird older brother/father that spoons his ward.]
You serious. What the fuck they doin' putting apples and nuts on pizza? Better question: what the fuck you doin' actually puttin' that garbage in your mouth?
This prison needs to stop being so goddamn classy, christ. I just want a fuckin' pizza with as much meat on it as structurally possible.