InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "chonky chonks"

Yuuki Kuran (trappedinresin) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-07-14 12:34:00

Entry tags:

bak chang, calliope-caliborn, korra, sookie stackhouse, yuuki kuran, zero kiryuu

Day 227 | action; | video
[It's dark, but it hardly makes a difference to a vampire. Only that the amount of traffic is significantly reduced. Which is fine. It's her turn to patrol sector zero, but she isn't alone today.

Sitting against a tree, she hums quietly, before singing a few lyrics to the song she'll have to perform, some time soon, in front of the dome. Not that she's looking forward to it, but she'll be glad when it's over. Nevertheless, it's easy enough to practice when everyone's asleep. Idly her hands stroke a small, orange, furry body nestled within her lap.]

Gathering stars, into my arms
I build up a fragile castle of sand
And utter a tiny pray for all the ones I love

[She returns back to humming, and stretching wide, yawns. She needs to do something to stay awake. Nails brush against the device, and after a moment it flickers on. The light of the screen is dim, but in the screen a couple blue and purple butterflies flutter around her. She pays them little attention, though. Instead, she lifts a small vampire bunny up, and forces one of his little legs to wave to the screen.]

Busa-kun is bored, so we were wondering if anyone's still up. Everyone who hasn't met him yet, for whatever the reason, say hi to Busa.

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trappedinresin
2013-07-20 01:24 am UTC (link)

[Teeth clenching she inhales sharply.]

Didn't purposefully... Zero that-- That kind of thing... [She shakes her head. Standing up, she sets Busa down, a tiny wall enclosing the area so he doesn't run off.

She swallows thickly. The excess air shoots off, splintering a branch on a nearby tree.]

Of course it's important! Of course that's the kind of thing I would want to know!

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notamasochist
2013-07-20 02:26 am UTC (link)

[He tries not to take her anger personally. He knew she would be upset by this news, so he was expecting some sort of emotional reaction. This was much better than self-pity.]

I wasn't aware you needed a play by play of every single thing that has happened here that you don't remember.

[But that doesn't mean he won't get upset at her reaction.]

You honestly think you needed this information? For what? To get angry and do what? You were here when it happened. I don't look back at this sort of thing in attachment to you because it was something the facility as a whole dealt with--it had nothing to do with you.

Bad things happen. You deal with them and try to put them behind you and move on with your life.

You left. You returned without memories. I've tried to distinguish those two periods as separate things because I don't want you thinking there is something 'missing'. It's not just this. Unless something comes up, I don't tell you about it because in your memories--you weren't there.

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trappedinresin
2013-07-20 03:17 am UTC (link)

That doesn't matter!

[Something as important as her own uncle appearing and murdering someone publicly, and he doesn't think it's something that warrants comment?]

If someone from your bloodline had been here... and murdered, even, wouldn't you have wanted to know?

[Her fists tremble. Why that monster of all individuals? If someone truly belongs in prison, it's him.]

He's the creep responsible for destroying my parents, Zero...! That monster wanted to devour and eat you, too. If he came back again, don't you think that would be trouble!?

[She grabs the fabric over his chest, half tugging him down, fangs bared as the tirade continues.]

People who are lost the dimensional stabilizer return all the time! That means that at any time he, too, could return!

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	[action] notamasochist 2013-07-20 03:57 am UTC (link)
	[Fine. Drag him down. He's on his knees.] He's not here and I'm telling you now. And I know people can return at anytime. Why do you think I'm telling you this now? The kid that was killed showed up here the other day. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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trappedinresin
2013-07-20 04:19 am UTC (link)

You're only telling me now because you want to mention him at your lecture, isn't that right? And you know I'd be unhappy learning that way.

[She's not stupid all of the time! She opens her mouth to respond further, but hesitates. The person he killed is here, though...? Alive?]

How...How is that possible, anyway? [ . . . It actually reminds her of a recent network post.]

The boy... who found his own grave, here?

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notamasochist
2013-07-20 05:08 am UTC (link)

Yes, I plan on discussing what happened primarily because it happened here. That makes it a lot more real to those who come from places without vampires in their world. You've never seemed extremely interested in what happened here before and the subject hasn't come up.

[Honestly, Yuuki. Look at who you are talking to.]

It isn't something I deliberately kept from you.

[He sighs, relief when Yuuki connects the dots with the recent network post.]

Yes, that was him. The dead in our world can reappear, so why shouldn't those who died here?

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	[action] trappedinresin 2013-07-20 05:12 am UTC (link)
	I figured if there was something important I'd be filled in. [Not belatedly! . . . Offer your memories to her, Zero. Because after recent events she doesn't want to shift through those without permission.] I can't imagine someone dying here and coming back to life after the event. [Why make a grave marker, then?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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notamasochist
2013-07-20 05:31 am UTC (link)

I'm not just going to randomly come out and tell you something that might upset or hurt you unless it's necessary at the time. Which until now I didn't view it as something you needed to know. He's dead back home. He's not here now. You know those who are dead can arrive here, it isn't as if the possibility of his arrival hasn't always been there. If you didn't think of him, why should I put that in your head?

[...again. This is Zero. He isn't one to share much to begin with so why does any of this surprise you? Good luck on getting him to just let you have his memories. He's a private person. You've always hated that about him.]

I'm sure they just take a different version from a different timeline. Similar to when you arrived the second time.

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	[action] trappedinresin 2013-07-20 05:34 am UTC (link)
	[ ... ] So you... don't think I'm the same 'Yuuki' as the me from before? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[action] notamasochist 2013-07-20 05:49 am UTC (link)
	[Do you really want to go there?] Yes, all four "versions" of you argue with me in my head daily. It's no wonder I feel half insane all the time. [Dripping sarcasm. That question pisses him off after finally meshing the two Yuuki's he did have before the whole memory fiasco] No, Yuuki. That's not what I think. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[action] trappedinresin 2013-07-20 12:58 pm UTC (link)
	Isn't that what a different 'version' is? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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notamasochist
2013-07-20 02:44 pm UTC (link)

[There is no way to win this argument.]

Do you just want me to pretend that you remember everything that happened here the first time? The you--as you are right now--does not remember that time. There is no way to get that back because you did not experience it.

This place deals with time planes and literally replaces the person that came here with "another version" of ourselves. Past or present...they can choose.

I could disappear tomorrow and return without any memories as a 14 year old.

How would you deal with that?

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	[action] trappedinresin 2013-07-20 03:29 pm UTC (link)
	That's not what I... [Doesn't he get it] So who is to say that the version of me that disappeared couldn't show up again? Didn't you have history with her, too? [It bothers her that they could be switched out so easily.] If that 'yuuki' came back, and we were both here, what would happen then? We shouldn't... be so easily replaced. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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notamasochist
2013-07-20 05:12 pm UTC (link)

...

[He's trying to wrap his head around exactly what she's saying and he can't. It makes no sense to him. The only explanation for it is something that he can't believe they are having a conversation about.]

Are you seriously trying to tell me you're jealous of yourself?

[That's the only answer he can come up with.]

You do realize I spent over a year convincing myself that the human part of you had died that day, right? Separated you into two different people and mourned the loss of one and hated the other.

Every time I interacted with you--that belief was tested and I struggled with it. Isn't that one of the reasons why you took my memories in the first place? Because I was doing myself more damage in my denial and refusal to face that fact. That I refused to believe that the person standing in front of me was the same one I'd always been with unless it was behind some role play or fantasy we'd conjured up.

If 'that' Yuuki came back--or even a 'new' Yuuki showed up--I honestly don't know what would happen. The only thing I know for certain is I would love her just as much as I do you. Because Yuuki is Yuuki whether she is three or three thousand years old. Human or Vampire. My best friend or my worst enemy. My feelings won't change.

[Yes, he did just use the "L" word in there, but his next words might just give the impression that it's not entirely a good thing. He pulls away from her grasp and gets to his feet.]

Honestly, I think that's a weird thing to be concerned about considering the source. Your biggest threat for my feelings is yourself. Think about what you're saying and to who for a second.

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trappedinresin
2013-07-20 06:16 pm UTC (link)

[She doesn't know what to say for a moment. Is she jealous? The idea of another her appearing is vexing. If it was a human version of her...what then? Likely, she'd feel more sympathy for her much more naive, self.

It's not a lie, though she can't help but to wonder if he'd prefer that Yuuki... the Yuuki from her past, over the current, vampire Yuuki. But he... says he doesn't care what Yuuki she is. It's just her that he cares about. It's ironic, somehow, that... whether it was due to her life with Zero or not, but she had, in a sense, compartmentalized herself, too. The 'monster' her verses the innocent her of the past, that had been so ignorant. For that reason it had taken her a long time to merely accept herself and allow the use of her fangs at all.

An arm lifting, she buries her face in one of her hands.]

I just... [Just what?] I'm sorry. I know that was stupid.

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notamasochist
2013-07-20 08:43 pm UTC (link)

[Zero sighs, leaning down to grasp one of her hands and gently pulls her to her feet. He knows he was likely a little harsh on her. He understands her thoughts but at the same time it's just so clear to him now. But it had happened so quickly for him that she still was trying to get her bearings and grasp the change. Once she's on her feet, another small tug brings her into his arms. Cheek against the top of her head as his lips press a gentle kiss against her temple, his arms embrace her body.]

I think if that Yuuki were to suddenly return...she would freak and wonder what was wrong with us. She definitely would be disbelieving and in denial about it all.

Probably call us fakes.

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	[action] trappedinresin 2013-07-20 09:46 pm UTC (link)
	[Face buried into his chest, his words manage to draw a faint laugh. He knows her too well, all right. Fingers reach up and curl into his shirt, and she murmurs.] Yeah... I'd wonder what sort of poor act they we were putting on. [They've changed a lot, haven't they.] I don't mind the current us, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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notamasochist
2013-07-20 10:09 pm UTC (link)

[Probably better than she knows herself. Luckily that goes both directions, which helps in these sort of situations when others just wouldn't understand exactly what is going on--they always seem to understand completely what the other is thinking and why.]

I'd hope not. It's taken a lot to get us here.

[He smiles against her hair, tightening his embrace.]

I do think 'that' you would handle it better than--something like the 15 year old you. She'd probably be horrified and grossed out.

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trappedinresin
2013-07-20 11:52 pm UTC (link)

[An exhaled sigh of amusement. She shakes her head.]

It's not that I would have been grossed out.

[The idea of them as anything more than good friends-- family, even-- had never really crossed her mind until that time when Zero had almost kissed her, really. But had she been grossed out?

No... just surprised.]

I would have been confused. Because I was sure that Zero couldn't possibly hold a single romantic thought about me. It never crossed my mind that you could have thought otherwise.

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notamasochist
2013-07-21 12:29 am UTC (link)

[One of his hands made its way to the back of her head to wind into her hair. Pulling his cheek away from it's resting place, he looks down into her face.

Where she'd never imagined he would feel like this toward her, he'd never dreamed that she'd ever know or return his feelings.

He just looks at her for a few seconds before letting his forehead drop against hers. There is a smile on his face and his eyes are closed. Contentment.

Nothing is said, he just stays like this. There is nowhere he'd rather be.]

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trappedinresin
2013-07-21 12:33 am UTC (link)

[It's her who will have to ruin the moment. Although she finds it difficult to pull away when she's so comfortable like this. Her smile fades, a touch, gaze dropping below.]

I am... upset. [Her head shakes lightly against his] Not at Zero. Not really...

[It's just not a cheerful topic.]

I never imagined that person would...get the opportunity to hurt someone again.

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	[action] notamasochist 2013-07-21 12:43 am UTC (link)
	[Why are you trying to ruin the mood? He knew they weren't done with the conversation but he was at least enjoying himself for a moment.] I know. His appearance...created a lot of chaos for everyone here at the time. It shouldn't have happened and we all did what we could to prevent him from hurting anyone else. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[action] trappedinresin 2013-07-21 01:04 pm UTC (link)
	[Did they even have their weapons during the occasion? That man should never have been allowed out of the ankle monitor.] What did I do? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[action] notamasochist 2013-07-22 04:04 pm UTC (link)
	You went after him. Of course. [He's not quite sure exactly what you're wanting to hear.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)