[ She takes a good long second to fume. She can't punch the smug look off his face, so maybe she should resort to dirtier, trickier and downright wordy tactics.
An idea pops into her head and she runs with it. ]
I'm gonna ruin your reputation. I'll tell everyone that you were playing with the bunnies in the cafe. That you went swimming and wore water wings, that you picked the mushrooms off your pizza and made sure to get mild hot sauce on your wings. And last but not least, that you asked me to call you 'sweetie'.