#feelspunch
[In recent days, since he’d been made Dhampir again really, Rose had found herself no longer on the same wavelength as Dimitri, something that was so foreign to her, so hard for her to accept. All the confusion, his pushing her away, she doubted now that they would ever have that again, and yet?
There was something in the way he spoke, a pain that spoke to her soul and she could no longer be angry, no matter how much she wanted to be, how much easier it would be if she were. Her eyes slowly raked his face, drinking him in and it struck her, for the first time since they’d found themselves here, through that chaos and confusion… She was with Dimitri. Alone with Dimitri and he was talking to her. He wasn’t sending her away. He wasn’t saying the words that had shattered her heart. He was here. He was here and he wanted her to stay.
She didn’t understand it. She doubted she ever would but what she knew was that something really was broken in him. She could hear it in his voice, the pain radiating off him in waves and she wanted more than anything in that moment to fold him into her arms, to pull him against her and help make it go away.
She wanted to, but she didn’t. She did however start to reach for him, tentatively at first, scared he would pull away, that he would reject her again. She couldn’t handle more rejection where he was concerned.
Rose’s face was a mixture of worry and confusion as she crouched down beside him, again, that hesitant touch coming only this time, she allowed her fingertips to lightly brush against his cheek, tracing the shadow of the bruise she had apparently given him, eyes scanning his face but never meeting his.
She could walk away right now if she wanted to. He might try and follow at first but Rose knew that if she wanted to, she could say what needed to be said in order to keep him away. She could say and do whatever was necessary, but she wouldn’t mean a word of it and if she were honest? Even if he didn’t love her anymore, wasn’t this better than the alternative? Rose had lived in a world without Dimitri Belikov and she didn’t want to ever know that pain again.]
It will heal.
[Her voice soft and yet something in her tone suggested, she might not have been talking about his face. Maybe she meant that he would. Maybe she meant her heart or maybe, maybe she did just mean the purple mark that marred his beautiful face.
She wouldn’t tell him what she had done to save him though. In four words she saw that he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, a debt to Lissa he felt he could never repay. She had told him she was his equal now. She didn’t want him feeling he owed a debt to her. Even knowing what she did now, that he didn’t love her, didn’t want her, didn’t need her anymore; She would not have changed a single thing.
Rose’s eyes fell away and finally, so did her hand, the brunette shifting so that she was again sitting next to him, closer than before, unintentionally so but the point was, she was there, for better or worse right now she would stay with him and the rest? The rest they would work out as they went.]