[ Oh, women. They need to learn not to get all piss-y on behalf of their girl friends. The world would be a much nicer place for one Damon Salvatore. ]
Fine. Don't. Get crushed. You'll die, I won't. Story of my life. [ He'll just pour his own drink now. ]
Or you could just pucker up, blondie. Promise I'll bite if you're into that.