[ It's all too easy to apply this to himself, to his own fears about the future — he hid his nightmares with sugar and caffeine just like he hid his drug addiction and later the headaches, all out of fear that they would think he couldn't do his job. The hovering threat of schizophrenia is even higher on the list and just the thought that he'd be relieved of his duty — of course he would be — if it would ever come to that is enough to make his stomach turn.
Not that he shows it. Not much, in any case. An uneasiness in the way he swallows but that is all. ]