"I'd call banging a chick from behind so hard it thumps your headboard against your wall a good fucking dream." Jack said blatantly as she seemed to stay there, making certain that he knew exactly what he was dreaming about. Well, not exactly. It had been about Jia, and for some reason Jack thought it wouldn't be best to mention the girl's name. Not because he cared about what Kaydence thought, but rather that she might some day talk to Jia and mention her name in a bubbly fit of fucking giggly glee, at which point Jack would then have to have Jia mocking him about having a sex dream about her and then would probably hang himself. Which, to be fair, he wasn't actually sure would work with his father's fucking curse on him, so he might just be caught on a rope infinitely dying until someone managed to pull him down.
"Maybe I was talking bukake." Jack muttered at Kaydence when she blatently asked him why he was wanting to shoot her in the face. It was a lie, he really had been picturing blowing her goddamned head off with a nice twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington... preferrably one sold from S-Mart. But really it didn't seem like insults were going to phase her at all, so he would need to move onto grossing her out, or generally just agitating her nerves until she went away. So far Jack had not met a nut that he could not crack in this department, and fucking hell, women had some form of self esteem, even the bubbly fucking ones. There was only so much verbal abuse and mistreatment a woman could take, and god damned if he wasn't going to give it all to her before fucking noon if she decided to set foot inside of this place.
"Whiskey and cookies are fine, but seriously, do I look like some pimply nerd? I'm not fucking reading a goddamned comic book. Still, it'll be good to prop up the table with or some shit." As soon as Kay left, he was TOTALLY going to read that comic book. He'd be fucking damned if he was going to let her in on that little secret though. Now all he had to do was keep himself from being obvious while he tried to eyeball exactly which comic book it was. Wait, no, not worth the risk. It would be his soon enough anyway, better to just fucking play it cool, like he didn't care about it, and move on being awesome. Not that it was hard to be awesome when you were Jack-fucking-Daniels, but yeah, it never hurt to try a little harder.
"Hate to break this to you toots, but usually the native americans shot fuckers in the face who brought 'peace offerings'. To be fair though, sometimes the peace offerings were often laced with disease, so you can sort of see why they'd be pissed." he said, then mumbled his peace about her coming inside. He half expected that she'd close the goddamned door behind him, or that she'd come in and give some snarky comment about not showing her boobs the way Jia would. Jesus Christ he'd never met a woman that prudish about her tits.... okay, that wasn't true, he knew most women were that prudish about their tits, but still. Muttering a little as he heard the door close behind him he sighed as he heard her stepping in.
"Alright, Betty, I've accepted your peace offering. Now what the fuck do I have to do to get rid of you?" he said as he took a small mouthful of booze in his mouth as he turned around to look at her topless. He sputtered a little, not quite swallowing the whiskey in the right way as he looked at her, coughing for a minute as he grabbed his face. "God damn... it fucking went up my nose... I don't believe this shit..." he mumbled. "I mean uhm... nice tits..." he said, trying to play it off a little as he realized this wasn't helping his morning wood any. At least she seemed to be giving him his bubble of space...
"So... uh... what do you want to do now?" Jack said glancing around. Sure he was trying to play it cool, but it would soon become apparent he had nooo fucking idea what to do at this stage of the game with someone like Kaydence, topless and alone in his room.