Well, Jia might not have been, but Jack was goddamned impressed with himself for catching that damned squirrel. That was a move far and beyond what most fucking line backers could do, after all. They got a nice big fat football, with some studded gloves so that they could catch it more easily, leather on leather. He got a fucking chainmail glove and had to catch a squirrel in it without actually killing the thing. Now that was some fucking talent. And from the look on his face he was expecting Jia to sort of, y'know, acknowledge the awesomeness that she had just beheld there. That was akin to someone watching the goddamned Olympics on crack, and she was just all glaring at him. He didn't really understand why it was that she constantly seemed to have a giant fucking stick up her ass about everything, but as sure as anything she was going to try to blame him for something, probably trying to thread it into the last conversation so she could try to make a fucking guilt snowball the way that all women did.
Annnnd there it went. She was bringing up the last conversation and talking about how he didn't mean to hurt her, but he actually did. Jack had started to roll his eyes but as he did he caught a sight of crimson on her hand, which caused him to start walking towards her, narrowing his eyes a little bit as he tried to figure out what exactly he had done to her. Jack tilted his head a little bit as he noticed the blood, and then what it was coming from. She... couldn't fucking be serious. She really wasn't serious, was she? Jesus fucking Christ, please please tell him that she wasn't actually seriously going to start crying over a paper cut. Jack stared at her for a minute, taking in a slow breath as he tossed the squirrel into the air, causing it's arms to flail before he caught it again, then repeated it again and again.
"Really? Reaaaaally? A paper cut. Of all the things that I could have done, you're going to start crying over a paper cut? C'mon, there are people over there in iraq or what the fuck ever getting shot right now and digging goddamned slugs out of their arms with a fucking swiss army knife. And you're really going to talk about a paper cut? Something that you can get rid of in less than a week with some Neosporin and a bandaid? Jesus Suz, I knew you were a girl, but I never really took you for a fucking pussy as well. You seemed to have so much spunk, I guess I just sort of assumed that you would not be the sort to start sobbing over a bruised knee or some shit like that. For a minute I thought it was something cool like a fucking compound fracture..."
Sighing a little caught the squirrel and thought for a minute. "Wait, you went into that tree, didn't you? I wasn't wrong! HA! You are a dryad. God, the stick up the ass thing, makes so much sense bearing that in mind. Well Suzy, I was going to hold this squirrel ransom for something good from you like a blowjob or whatnot, but now I'm just afraid I might get slivers down there. And if you think that a papercut hurts..." Jack shook his head lightly, looking at the squirrel. "Alright, here you go Suzy... catch!" he said, tossing the squirrel at her. Or rather to the side of her, for a moment though, it would look like it was going to hit her. He watched her shriek and flinch, but it landed to the side of her and chittering angrily all the way bolted for the nearest tree not beside her and scampered up it.