"Uht! UHT! Don't correct me on your name, Betty, I know what it is." Sure he did, now. He mentally logged it away. Kaydence wasn't exactly the sort of name that was very common, so he imagined it would be easy to look her up if he ever got such an inclination. For the time being though, some of his dignity was being restored, at least in his own mind. Kay didn't make things easy though, given that she seemed to have no particular stance on well, anything. Jack supposed that the old saying about the reed that bent in the storm survived longest, but ye gods it was annoying having her seem to either be amused or apologetic when it came to him taunting her. What the hell did he have to do to piss this girl off? It was clearly going to take some work, but Jack supposed that really that was just some good exercise for him. After all, if he could piss off the nicest person in the world, he could piss off anyone, right?
"Jack Daniels." Jack said simply, winking at her. "And no, you can't call me Jack, it's Jack Daniels unless you've slept with me, in which case maybe then you can call me Jack... depending on your performance in the sack, of course." Jack said smartly. "Of course, people of a higher rank than me, like the President, for example, can call me just Jack. Buuuut I'm guessing your career path is probably shooting for less... intellectual pursuits." Ouch, Jack, that was horrifically mean, even for you.
"Yeah, confused. I'm guessing that probably isn't an overly unusual occurrence is it?" Jack said as he glanced skyward for a moment. Give it a moment to actually sink in. Come on, she really had to be catching a ride on the clue train by now... she just needed to buy that ticket and hop aboard. Jack tilted his head a little as if listening for something, waiting for that moment when she actually asked him if he was trying to piss her off, to which he suddenly smiled, and clapped, and then cheered. "YAAAAY! We have a winner folks. Johnny, tell our lovely contestant what she's won."
Stepping to the side of her he put his arm around her suddenly and took an announcer tone. "Well Pat, she certainly hasn't won a full ride scholarship to Harvard. OOOH, that smarts. But seriously, she's looking at a lifetime of ridicule and mockery from Jack Daniels, the coolest kid on campus. Ouch. But wait, there's more, because she's been such a good sport we're going to throw in a nice slap on the ass too..." He said as he roughly smacked her barely covered behind and then gave it a rather forward squeeze to feel if it was in fact as firm as it looked. Damn. It was almost worth it to try to hold down his bile and be nice to her for the attempt to get her into the sack. Almost.
"Wait... alcohol stops this? How much? I've got a hip flask right here? I will go down to the store, and BUY you a bottle of jager if it will make the bubbliness stop. Seriously, right now, we can do this." He said.
"You don't know. If that ain't the understatement of the millenia. But really, IF I was a humanist, sneaking on to do bad things to you, I probably would lie about what I was until I was ready to do said bad things to you, right? Right? So me actually denying it wouldn't mean anything, ergo, you asking the question is just a teensy bit pointless, now isn't it? Yeaaah, that's what I thought. Thanks for playin though..." Jack said with a roll of his eyes.
"Wow, you can't get the frat boys to feel you up? I gotta tell you Bets, I wouldn't go about spreading that around places. People might think that there's something wrong with you. You are right though, that I do have a lot of guts to feel you up. Kind of a shame you didn't have the guts to feel me up when you had the chance. Too late now though kiddo..." he said with a smirk as he took a step away from her. "We done here, or do I have to charge up my ridicule lazer for a full on mega blast?"