Jack was dangerously off his game. And now he'd forever hear goddamned Darkwing saying 'dangerous' whenever he thought of something dangerous, which of course made him think of dangerous and thus exacerbated the whole fucking problem! FUCK! Setting his teeth a little he took a moment to take a breath. Sure, she could laugh at him, but he'd been laughed at before. Just not by a girl that he was actively trying to piss off before. This, of course, presented a challenge, and as an engineer, or former one, he loved a challenge. It was like a goddamned puzzle, and he could solve it, if he just took enough time with it. Of course, her smile was like caustic acid on his mood, eroding at the joy that he had felt just a few moments before when he'd nearly sent a squirrel on a one way nose dive to squirrel hell. Or heaven... though he'd like to think there was a squirrel hell, filled with big mean barking dogs.
As she started towards him as if she really were going to feel around he put up a hand and gave her a stern look as he pointed at her. "Uh! UH! None of that now. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, fucking shame on you again for trying to fool me again!" Jack said firmly. "I'm watching you blondie..." And he liked what he saw, from her figure anyway. If there really were just some way of stopping her from laughing at him and maybe getting her drunk and/or horny. Then again, drunk, she might just be even more goddamned happy.
When Kay seriously asked if nurses were that dumb, one of Jack's eyes twitched. Oh yeah, she was giving him some fuel for some maximum Jack payback. Tilting his head to one side and then the other, he adjusted his jaw as he warmed up. It was time to start his fucking attack run. "I'm guessing you didn't come here on a scholarship, did ya, champ?" he said, shaking his head a little. "Noooo, nurses aren't that stupid, but then again, that is why we call it a joke, or sarcasm. You see, it involves saying something you don't really mean, in a smart assed voice like I'm using now. Sometimes, if you're feeling really super de duper sarcastic, you use your hand as a puppet so you can talk to it even."
She still seemed unphased by his annoyance, so he stepped up his game a little. "So look, Betty. I know they say that blondes have more fun, but I'm pretty sure when they came up with that phrase they weren't thinking of a blonde that is more chipper than a goddamned carebear that just had a balloon filled with crack burst in it's asshole as it was trying to sneak it over the border to the Smurfs. And I was starting to think your darker half, Veronica the fucking dryad was actually annoying for given me all of her PETA eating real food is murder, save the fleas bullshit, but this... this... this is something else. No, nurses don't fall for that. Yes, I was being sarcastic. 4 quarters still make a dollar, and letting politicians control our money is still re-HEALLY stupid. This is all part of this global idea we call.... common sense."
He spread his arms in front of him in the air as if revealing a flashing sign that said it. "And no, I'm not a humanist. Why in the hell would I be on this campus if I were a humanist? It'd be like going to disneyworld when you hate getting molested by giant fucking foam cartoon replicas!" Jack had to take in a breath at this point to keep himself from fully loosing it. "Look, Bets, I'm sure all the guys probably love the 'tee hee, I'm cute' thing because they think it'll get you naked, but I'm pretty sure it's not actually worth the trouble at this point."
At this point he walked past her, feeling a bit better about himself. "So here's a thought, why don't you go find Veronica, and you and her can give Archie tag team blowjobs until he decides which one of you he actually wants to fuck... kay?"