Goose is dead
Who: Jack and Kaydence What: Feeling the need... the need for SPEED When: Mid-Day Where: Outdoors Warnings: Anything less than R would be a #!@#ing insult Status: Complete!
In the lush scenery of the Alden University recreational grounds, another, very different type of lush, was starting to get very, very, VERY fucking bored. It's not that the day hadn't started out amusing enough. There was of course the usual nightmares, the morning wood, the taking care of the morning wood, and then the breakfast of champions: vodka and an Egg McMuffin breakfast from those wonderful golden arches. But then, once you started a morning that fucking awesome, how did you really follow it up? Skipping class was an easy enough choice, but it was sooo overdone by now that it had really lost some of it's appeal. Fuck, he was so bored at the moment that he was actually starting to consider GOING to class, just for a change of pace. It was a notion that he had reminded himself after a moment of consideration, was just crazy, and stupid, or perhaps those in the reverse order.
"Winners don't quit, and quitters don't win, but those who don't win and don't quit are idiots." Jack reminded himself calmly as he put the finishing paint on a rather intricate model of a plane, setting it down in the sun so that it could dry. Now all he needed to find was a squirrel to bother him, and he'd really be all set. It wasn't that he hadn't thought about Jia, hell, she'd helped him to take care of that wood problem he'd had earlier in the day, as well as the day before that, and the day before. In fact, he could distinctly recall at least a dozen thoughts that were related to their little talk that they'd had the other day. Sure, she hadn't been clothed, in his mind's eye memory of it, but that really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things did it? What was a little clothes to rain down on his parade.
So he'd thought about her, and thought about the fact that she'd said something to him. What it was, exactly, he couldn't remember, but Jack was certain that if it had been particularly deep or insightful, like the sound of one hand clapping, that he would have remembered it. As it was, all he could really remember was her frowning at him being all preachy. Was it any wonder that rather than dwell on that he instead gave his best shot at picturing her naked? Jack didn't think so, and really, that was what mattered, far more than some sort of weird preachy spiritual voodooo hoodoo about whatever. And well, honestly, that fucking squirrel had truly had it coming... as did the one that was coming up to him now.
Eyeing the paint to make sure it was dry, he flicked a little button on the plane to start up the main motor as the inquisitive squirrel came a bit closer, and paused, rearing up on his hind legs as he let out a loud chitter at Jack, probably demanding food, or making some out of taste comment about Jack's mother. Jack was relatively certain if he ever invented something that translated squirrel into human speak, that a significant portion of their language would consist of 'yo mamma' jokes. Narrowing his eyes a little, Jack waited as the little thing got a little bit closer, taking in a slow breath as his muscles started to flex just ever so slightly...
Then with a leap forward he grabbed onto the squirrel, his enhanced godlike abilities helping him out quite a bit. Jack eyed the squirrel that looked around in his hand bewildered. "Now Goose..." he said, "you don't have to do this. You can be my wingman any tiiimeouch!" Jack growled as the squirrel had the nerve to fucking bite him. "No, YOUR mom." Jack growled as he pushed the squirrel on the plane, holding him there as he ran forward, grunting. "NOW you have to do this Goose...." he said as he tossed the plane, with the squirrel on top into the air and watched as it sailed.
Bewildered, the squirrel tried to balance as Jack pulled out a remote and began to fly the plane higher, gently curving it past trees, watching as the little squirrel held on for dear life. "You got it Goose, you got it..." Jack said, right before the wing of the plane clipped a high branch of a tree and started to nosedive, the squirrel squeaking a little as it started to go down. "No... Eject Goose, Eject! For the love of GOD EJECT GOOSE! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSEEEE!" He cried out as the plane went down, only to watch as the squirrel jumped at the last minute and landed unharmed in the grass, it's head popping up before it started to run away from the whole ordeal.
"Wai... No, GOD DAMMIT GOOSE! You weren't supposed to fucking eject, it's not in the script! How the fuck am I supposed to get laid now in my moment of emotional anguish?!?" Jack screamed out after the squirrel who was quickly running away at high speed. "You fucker, I bet you're related to Luke!" Jack growled as he paused, looking around in the hopes of finding a topless Jia, and not seeing anything. "Well, God dammit..." he said again, his eyes widening as the plane suddenly exploded in a small plume of flame, and he whistled, hiding the remote in his coat pocket.
"We'll just be pretending I was never here..." he muttered as he started to step away from the flaming wreckage, whistling innocently.