A smile crossed her face as she listened to him speak about writing like it was a subject he knew more intimately then some lovers knew the touch of each others body. His comments actually made sense as he spoke about them and she nodded. "Then how much do you think can be altered by the person who's holding the pen? Take tonight for example. If I went home, opened my journal and wrote pages about the encounter I had with a tall, dark and handsome man along the shoreline of the Pond, I could easily change it. I wouldn't, but it would be very simple if I were to say maybe you did fall into the water trying to get a better look at me. And maybe you didn't know how to swim so I rushed over and saved your life. I'd be considered a hero when I was nothing more than a liar. And once it's written on the page, it changes the way anyone who wasn't involved directly in what happened perceives it. Just by changing the conditions of what happened when I put it to paper would completely alter my act of capturing a moment on page from a brave one, to a selfish one."
Raina held her hand out for just a moment. "I wouldn't do that, just so you know." But it made a good point. It also made her wonder how much of her own perception had been sculpted by the words of others who could have easily lied about what had happened. She wasn't a fan of lies, and hardly believed them necessary at all.
She considered his comment about the flames, and dying before they went out and assumed only the affections of the two parties that are involved. She supposed that it would certainly be better to stop living instead of having to go through the agony that came with binding someone to your heart, making them a part of your life, and then having them be ripped away from you. Whether by death, or cruel fate, or even their own choice. You would sooner prefer to lose your life then to live every day with the torture of knowing that you'll never be around that one person for the rest of your days, that you will live a true eternity of lifetimes without them beside you. It sounded more painful then she cared to imagine. "I think people don't take love as seriously as they should. That sounds crazy coming from me, who is practically chasing every chance of love I have placed in front of me."
Her shoulders dipped up and back in a quick shrug, "Love used to be all consuming. It used to be eternal. You knew that when you found that right person, there would never be another soul that could take his or her place. You had met your equal, the other half that completes you. Now most people fall in love as quickly as they get their nails done and then move on, trying to find that feeling of forever when they look into their partners eyes." It was the feeling that she most desired. Perhaps that's why she looked so frantically for the right person. She wanted to taste the way it felt to be completely taken over. She wanted to feel her heart beat echo in her ears when she saw him, but never know if it was beating just that fast, or if it had stopped altogether. Love. It was the only thing she wanted from this world. At least it was the only important one. Everything else would be nice. For Raina, she wanted to experience everything that it could offer. Sharing it with someone was a big part of that.
She quieted though when he seemed to stiffen and said he didn't want to talk about that particular aspect. Raina wasn't going to fight him on it. But it did give a lot away. She wondered who he had just been thinking of. Her smile widened and she left behind the previous topic to consider the new. She accepted it with a small nod, "I like that, actually. Maybe, in the end, it's better to believe in yourself and find out there was a plan all along instead of assuming everything is predetermined and then discovering that it was up to you all along." That would really be a bad day, if you left your life up to the decisions of some distant parent figure, only to discover they were never there to begin with. It meant you had to take responsibility for all of your decisions, including the bad ones, and live with the consequences.