Jack Daniels couldn't help but pause a little at the fact that someone was yelling at him. HIM of all people, just for having a little fun with a squirrel. Taking in a slow breath, he let it out, and muttered loud enough that she would be able to hear it. "Oh jesus fucking christ, here comes the Mighty Morphin PETA Power Patrol..." He was starting to get a headache at just the fucking idea of her. Or maybe it was the sunlight, though he was pretty sure that he'd been out in it at least once in the last week. Sometimes it was a bit hard to remember with the blackout periods. What a fine idea that was though, maybe if he drinked enough he wouldn't actually remember THIS tomorrow either.
Leaning his head back to take a long gulp of the mixture of red bull and alcohol in his flask, he paused, then swallowed, neatly set the bottle down, and leaned against the park bench far enough that he was looking at her upside down as she glared at him from a distance. God DAMN. PETA always managed to get the hottest fucking chicks to join up. First Pamela anderson and now this one. The chest left a little something to be desired, but the ass looked like it would more than make up for it. If he had thought she might actually listen to him he would have asked her to do a little turn for him. Usually that just got drinks thrown in his face though.
"Why?" he said for a moment, sighing as if she wouldn't understand. "Because lookit... Luke out there has scampered off, god knows where... and he's going to spread the word, that the Emperor ain't no straight up biyatch. If I were to just let every Jedi who refused to rule the universe at my side go... well, then none of them would! As it stands now, I have a whole park full of potential disciples out there, just chittering away at the opportunity to take their place at my side, because they've seen that I'm not wearing panties under my sith robes, y'know? If you're going to rule the universe with an iron fist, you can't go around being all weepy about frying a few squirrels. You should write that down, it's an important life lesson."
A lazy smile spread across his features as he watched her. Usually he was a lot meaner to people, but that was when he was sober. When he was drunk, he was a bit nicer, and a whole lot more playful. Still, it had been said that ones true personality shone through, even when one was drunk, and Jack certainly wasn't any exception to that. From the looks of it, the lady wasn't very amused by his story, which kind of was a shame because he thought that it was fucking HIL-A-RI-OUS. He supposed then that it was time for the truth then. And by the truth he meant another story.
"Okay... in all seriousness." he said, standing up and looking at her. "I... I just... I have this power, and sometimes if I don't... if I don't let it out.... I can feel it building inside of me you know?" he said, looking down at his hands, which started to tremble. He looked down at them and then looked at her with a faked scared look. "It starts building, and my hands shake.... and I can feel it worming it's way inside of me.... oh god... oh god... not now...." He gripped his sides a little as he took a step towards her. "And then I just have to let it out at something... I just... I have to.... oh god.... oh god..."