He winced as she thought that it was her fault that he felt pain. His eyes desperately called out to her, crying out for understanding, while at the same time burdened by the fact that she could not understand, even if he had a hundred words to explain it to her with. And here, now, weak as he was, he had almost none. If he were to take her as his mate it would not be an issue, the temptation would be there, but it would be one that he could indulge in, one that he could give himself over to, but it would assign far too great a burden on her. To truly take a mate was a marriage vow as it was in the olden days, from which there was no divorce, there was no simple breaking off when things got rough, it was a life bond to her. And he felt instantly guilty for even considering such a thing, when there was so much to get to know about her...
He gasped in a breath like a drowning man emerging from the waves as she shut the door behind herself, finally able to breathe again, to remind his thudding heart that he was truly in control of it and not the beast inside of him. As he heard her start to walk to her dorm room and away from the door, he walked up to it and put his hand against it, pressing his head there as he closed his eyes and just listened to the sound of her walking away from him, the soft pattering of footsteps that drew her further and further away, and closer to safety. And slowly then he turned to press his back to the door, reaching up to grip his chest a little as he slid down to sit against it, listening to those footsteps moving further and further away.
She was safe now... safer away from him, than she was with him. He had saved her, but nearly hurt her at the same time. What if he had fed from her? What if she had done the same from him? He could remember what it was to have the blood forced upon him, the closest thing he could concieve of to being utterly violated against his will. The idea that he might do that to her in a moment of weakness, in a moment of bloodlust made his insides feel as if they were twisting violently, but in this place, now, far from him, she was safe. Quietly, he summoned the strength to push himself up and move out to look up at the light in her window, staring at it wordlessly.
He would not come here again. He couldn't bear to stand outside her window and feel his heart break over and over.
Desmond did not know if her window was open, but if it was, she would hear his lone voice, clear in the night time as he stared up at her window and spoke old familiar words.
"Come to me in my dreams, and then By day I shall be well again For so the night will more than pay The hopeless longing of the day.
Come, as thou cam'st a thousand times, A messenger from radiant climes, And smile on thy new world, and be As kind to others as to me.
Or, as thou never cam'st in sooth, Come now, and let me dream it truth; And part my hair, and kiss my brow, And say: 'My love! why suff'rest thou?'
Come to me in my dreams, and then By day I shall be well again. For then the night will more than pay The hopeless... longing... of the day."
And then, silently, with one last stolen glance at her window, he turned and quietly began to walk out into the night.