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Raina Maris. ([info]raina_maris) wrote in [info]manchester_rpg,
@ 2010-09-19 18:46:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
When my brain's ticking like a bomb.
Who Raina & Jack, then Desmond
What Booze fixes all the problems in the world
When Sunday night
Where By the pond
Rating R (language and sexual situations)
Status In progress



It was a dream that had Raina wanting to leave campus for the night.

Lately, most of her dreams had been dark and she woke aching, both physically and emotionally. Her mind was tired from screaming and she felt like she was spinning out of control. Last night she'd found herself in the middle of the woods. Her heart had been racing as her eyes dated around through the mass of trees that surrounded her. She could hear leaves cracking underfoot as something took a spin around the shadows. She turned to try and catch a glimpse but she just barely saw the back end of whatever it was as it disappeared once more. "Who's there?" She called out, though she didn't expect an answer.

Turning, her feet kicked up dirt as she started to run through the woods. Her body bumped into the thick tree trunks and she could feel the bruises appearing on her body. But she couldn't stop. Heart thumping, she continued to run as the creature, or whatever it was, got closer and closer to her. She head towards a clearing when the creature on her tail snagged her foot. Raina fell to the ground, feeling the dirt staining her face. Flipping herself on her back, she prepared for an attack but nothing was there. Out of breath, her eyes darted around the circle of the clearing. As she did, the trees around her started to grow crookedly, wickedly. The branches bent like fingers reaching for her menacingly.

She screamed and backed up until she could get to her feet. No sooner had she taken a step away from the reaching fingers then they had gripped her. They wrapped around her, pinning her arms at her sides as they roped around her waist. The other ones started to claw at her violently, like an animal tearing her flesh into ribbons. Blood dripped from her body until she woke up violently. Drenched in sweat, sheets tangled around her body, it took almost fifteen minutes to pull herself together and realize she'd been only dreaming. And they had been getting worse every night.

This last one had felt so real that when her eyes laid on the clock and she'd realized that she had slept all day, she decided there was really only one thing that she could do to calm the thoughts of blood and destruction.

And that was alcohol.

With a bottle of jack daniels shoved in her bag, she threw on a skirt (in the chance that she wanted to get in the water) and a tank top, followed by a pair of slip on flats. Then Raina was out the door. She didn't want to be there right now. All she wanted to feel was numb. She had been hoping that, much like what most people told her, the ache would lessen with time. She had been all but hoping that one day she would wake up and it would hurt less, even just a tiny bit, but she'd had no luck with that. Every morning hurt just as badly. What if she never recovered? She didn't want to be reckless, but she didn't want to be in pain. So she didn't waste any time getting down to the pond. Stopping beside the water, Raina sat down and pulled out the bottle of whiskey. It started with a few shots. The burning in her throat as she swallowed each shot helped, but she wanted more, needed more.

She wasn't sure how much time passed by a quarter of the bottle down, Raina was laying back on the ground, staring at the sky. She hummed to herself as she twisted the bottle open again and held it against her lips to take another sip. Her cheeks were flushed with the taste, eyes watery from the buzz.

This was definitely helping.


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[info]raina_maris
2010-10-01 09:20 am UTC (link)
"You can't leave me like this."

She felt her eyes filling up with tears as he spoke. Then when he threw the jacket, she reached for it, holding it against her stomach. It seemed a silly thing to worry about her modesty after something like this. Her fingers ran slowly against the leather until she thought of him leaving her again. She still had the taste of him in her mouth as she slowly, awkwardly rose from the ground. "I don't feel like you violated me, and it wasn't any of those horrible things that you think it would be. I wanted you, and you wanted me too. That wasn't just the darkness compelling you."

But would he stop? Would he even look back?

She took a step forward. "Desmond, please don't leave like this. Please." When had she gotten so desperate? When had she had to fight so hard? And just like that, she was right back where she started--wanting to go sit by the lake and drink until she couldn't feel anything anymore. "What a stupid girl," she whispered as she looked down at the jacket in her hands that he had given her. Her fingers curled around it tightly, holding it against her and she stared down at it. She considered just leaving it. In fact, she'd been moments away from dropping it. But it was his and he may want it back.

There was a painful feeling in the pit of her stomach that made her want to scream. What if she never saw him again? What if he just disappeared after this? It hurt even worse than the prospect of seeing him on campus when he'd just walked away the first time. Her life wouldn't be better without him. He simply had to understand that. But this time when she spoke his name in the darkness, her voice was soft and low, and almost disappeared in the surrounding darkness. Was he gone? Was he watching her? She couldn't be sure if the blood she'd ingested would help her find a way to tell where he was, if she could sense him in any way. Instead, she held his duster against herself, making sure the skirt was as securely in place as possible.

Then what else was she to do to but start to walk towards campus. If Desmond didn't want to see her, or her to see him, then she wouldn't. That much she was sure of. The walk was steady and quiet, much more than she wanted it. The comforting darkness was now a large beast that wouldn't let her go, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to run from it or let it consume her. Once back in her dorm, she fell on her bed and climbed under the covers.

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