That mind blowing explosion of force left him breathless, staring up at the stars above as she threw her head back, feeling his hips instinctually grinding up against her as he felt that squeezing around him that seemed to almost milk the last drops of his seed from him, a low groan coming from him him as his eyes unfocused slowly, and he lay there, his heart pounding slowly in his ears, feeling her whisper something about how unbelievable things were. The creature inside of him was still hungry, he could feel it clawing at him, but the desire was satiated, and the fact that for better or worse Raina was no longer a virgin, the bloodlust that he felt for her abated slowly, from a deafening roar in his head to a soft slow whisper.
Desmond gasped slowly as he felt breath that was his return to his lungs... felt them raise and fall as he controlled them again. He could taste his own blood in his mouth... and he shivered a little as he knew what it had meant. He did not know how long it had been, but it had certainly been more than an hour if not longer since he had...
Blue eyes slowly looked to one of his hands as he flexed it open and closed, making certain that he had control of it again. His blue eyes did not look down at her against his chest, he couldn't bear to at this point, instead he closed his eyes tight, his head buzzing with the things that had happened between the two of them. How long had he remained in control of himself? How long had it been since he'd let the monster loose? It had not been that in control of him since... since Magdelena...
Desmond grimaced as he thought of a way to explain it to Raina that he hadn't. Did she have the faintest idea that what she had done? How could he explain to her that while what had happened between them was a manifestation of his desire... it was uncontrolled... that no part of that was under his control? His body had moved, he had taken her... but the conscious part of his mind, the part that thought, the part that dreamed, the part that read poetry by the lakeside... all that made him DESMOND... had been gone in that moment with her... he had lived through it, unable to control it, unable to stop it... Desmond closed his eyes quietly as the realization of it hammered into his skull as he tried to think of what he would say... what he could say to her after that.
Slowly, more gently than he wanted to, he pulled her body from his, sliding her off of him and onto her side in the grass, freeing himself from the confines of her as he felt that organ that had moments before been like steel fall limp and lifeless once more. Slowl he rolled to his side and grabbed his shirt, pulling it on over his clothing. Balthazar had once told him that it was true that clothing made the man... that every clothing was a piece of armor, regardless of how flimsy it might be. And that a fine suit could bolster one's confidence in a stressful situation like a suit of armor might, if one thought of it in the right way. Right now Desmond needed anything to feel stronger.
Turning from her her he brought his knees to his chest and hugged them close as he pushed his face into them for a long moment, still trying to gather the thing that he wanted to say to her... finding it summed up in a single word that came out soft and laced with pain like a strong poison...
"Why?" Desmond said as he gripped his knees so tightly that he began to shake.