"Look, sweetheart. I know I look a bit drunk, but I fucking hold my liquor better than anybody, and I gotta be honest with you, I don't think I'd ever be drunk enough to not remember a girl like you drinking me..." he said with a pause, clearly meaning something much much different than she did. "So unless you're like one of them fucking genie chicks that sneak into guys rooms and try to fuck them in their sleep..." ah, for the days when that was just a fantasy in his mind and not an actual somewhat frightening reality... "then I'm pretty sure that you've never even sucked on me, much less drank..." Jack paused, then nodded and held up his whiskey. "oh, you mean the booze... alright, fair enough..."
"For the record though, you're hotter than I expected, so if you feel like drinking the real thing... you just let me know sweetheart..." Jack said with a wink that was neither sly nor classy.
"Alright party girl, there are only two reasons why a girl gets drunk. One is if someone is trying to get her drunk, in which case you would be with somebody, or TWO, if there's someone that she's thinking about that she doesn't want to. And you, my dear... are fucking drrruuuuunk. So, just for tonight, I'll fucking pretend that other people's problems don't annoy the shit out of me, and you can tell me what the deal is, because I'm guessing at the rate you're going you're probably going to fuckin kill yourself on glass shards or some shit if I don't..." Jack said, jiggling the bottle at her as he patted the ground next to him, inviting her to snuggle up and have some booze.